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[coolohoh]

Yes… I'm so… lonely and bored right now. bored more than anything else. if i wasn’t bored i wouldn’t feel lonely. get what i mean?

So my parents and sis are off in taiwan from early yest morning till next Friday. yup, in taiwan for holiday while I'm here in sg. Why? Cos i've no idea when HR will contact me and all that so… yeah… decided to play safe and just stay put. The job IS a whole lot more impt than a 9 day vacation after all. If i get the job, i'll finally be able to start earning $$$ and $$$ is what allows for many more vacations to come. I'm not all that fond of travelling per say… but i guess the timing is just a little.. bad… 

still traumatised by the aia job and now I'm anxiously waiting for a reply from HR. Yes previously i mentioned that i had to get two letters of recommendations… and i managed to secure them! One of my profs have sent it directly to me, in a pdf format (my mistake, i shd have told her who to send it to from the onset, i didn’t expect her to be so fast), the other prof promised to send it by next wedn. So yup… i emailed back HR and ask her if the pdf form of the recommendation letter is alright, or if the prof has to email her directly… but no replies. also sent in all my testimonials, transcripts etc etc together in the same email. That was two days ago… bleah… nerve wrecking wait! i want this job so bad…….. all i can think of now is this job and working back at ibn, under kuri… together with fan… both my old mentors (yes, the guy is called fan - a chinese name. pronounced differently in chinese, but we just go by the english pronunciation). 

yeah. i was reading my blogspot the other day… the really old entries on my work at ibn… in like 2008… yeah. i wish I'd read it sooner. than I'd not have had to go thru this big loop and wasted so much time. all my hopes and aspirations… how excited i was then… and even now… so excited when i read the paper and realise that the very preliminary work i did with fan last time… he managed to get results and got a paper published. so happy, so happy for him. gosh the very thought of me going to become a lab officer like he was is just….. exciting and scary at the same time. all the stuff he did… will i be able to do it as well? idk. yes I'm still afraid, afraid that i cannot meet up to his standards. afraid that i aint as good as him. but then again i don't think anyone will be as good from the onset. everyone has to learn when they start right? and I'm sure fan will be more than willing to help me out. yeah… that guy… he's really really kind. really really nice. not like my aia boss who's kind with a hidden agenda… the 'i use you and u use me' kind. nope, not like that. he taught me so much when i was under him at ibn. in return for? nothing. Yeah i helped him with his experiments… since that was my job scope… but i messed up more than once and he just took it… as if it was nothing. it was just another lesson for me… even though i know his heart must have broken into a million pieces when i broke the new ph probe he got - we just started using it for a few days and then in my haste to retrieve something in the fume hood my hand just bashed through the delicate probe and the next time i knew was that the saline solution (potassium something, i forgot) was dripping pathetically on my glove. yeah… that was like the 1st time i broke something really expensive. 

and then there was once i didn’t hold of the 96 well plate properly as i was taking it out of the incubator. i only held on to the lid and yup, it just crashed onto the floor. cells, cell culture media and all. basically the entire experiment was destroyed… 

yeah… me and fan… we got along really well. in the end i was referring to him as my older brother… well not in front of him tho… but among the rest of the internship students… haiz.

but there's still that interview with jacky ying to clear. and yes she's a very scary women. i hope i can impress her during the interview. very scary ahhhh. 

of cos… i have to wait for hr to get back to me first… -.-'''

early this week 'johnny' smsed me abt the 400+bucks. i seriously don't know what to make of it. previously he said that aia would pay the license fees if i contracted. which i did. so is he trying to rip off my $ or what? unhappy that he can't get anything out of me and so wants some $ back? this $ isn't reflected anywhere official… so seriously i don't think I'm gonna pay up. there's no IOU or anything signed, or even put on paper… how can he force me to pay back? everything is just words VS words. seriously not happy with the vague structure and unclear way he does things. don't want to pay back. no after how i was tricked to taking the exams in the first place. yes… i took it willingly, but i wouldn’t have taken this job if he had given me a proper answer on what FSC mean. i thought it was more like finance, planning and stuff… when in actually fact it was just selling insurance… sales wasn’t what i was looking for… i always thought it was more than just selling insurance, like a lot of other things involved… when in actual fact it was just selling and nothing else. what a horrid euphemism. ok, i did know in the end that i had to sell… but definitely not during the 2nd interview when i signed up for the first test. and from then on things just snowballed. test after test i just threw myself into the books and studied. glad for some form of relief from my parent's nagging. yeah what i fool i was. 

in the end i just can't forget the excitement i get from doing research. and its just not something outsides like johnny can understand. 'I'm very disappointed in you' 'those friends who didn’t support you were right' yeah all the shit he said. yeah I'm disappointed too that i took up your job offer. and those friends who said i shd do science are right. no seriously. u don't know what its like in the lab for me. I'm free. in the lab. just being in the lab excites me to no end. that is where my freedom lies. yeah i love it in the lab, doing experiments… reading papers is something essential but i don't like it that much… but its what it is… essential… and once i get on a roll, its not at all that bad. same with scientific writing… once you're on a roll just you rock and roll. yes I'm exhausted - physically but more so mentally… and I'm just ranting and rumbling on as usual now. so pardon me...

watched nine's and aiba's pikaru this morning/afternoon, and it was hilarious! still have not watched yesterday's HnA. Saw the farewell message translation… and saw ppl's comments on FB. it’s a really sad episode eh? ah wells… it’s the last episode after all… its bound to be sad… shall watch it… idk… not gonna watch it now, its quite late already… shall hope for a better mood before i watch it. I'm depressed enough now as it is. 

somehow i missed last week's last hope on the comm even tho i was anxiously waiting for it. finally DLing it now. yeah i know the raw came out on another comm much earlier, but i want the version with chinese subs. no. i NEED the version with chinese subs. i can't understand most of it w/o subs… 

Things i did today:

- post my sis's letter

- watch pikaru

- update my blogs

- start my dad's car for 20 mins to let the battery charge up. 10 mins shd have been sufficient

- watched a bit of tv, but it was really boring

- read the news

- read techland

- washed and hang the clothes

- went grocery and food shopping. i now have enough food to last the entire weekend and more

 

things i need to do tmr:

- iron and keep the clothes

- cwkpq at 10pm

- exercise!

 

yeah. i went on a crazy shopping spree today. went to mini toons where they had those pick and mix sweets thing and bough like 58xg of sweets… which cost me SGD$9.80. yeah. crazy right. that's more than half a kg of sweets. Yeah I'm gonna be absurdly fat by next Friday if i don't start exercising. ah i need to check if I'm still meeting my friend tmr afternoon. smsed her but she hasn’t replied. honestly i don't feel like going anywhere… but then again maybe it'll do me good to talk to someone… maybe i'll call her up and ask...

in the mean time… i do actually have a ton of things to do. its just that i...

i can do tv guides of pikaru, yesterday's HnA etc… 

i've got 6 library books to read… so far not even halfway thru the complete collection of sherlock holmes… 

there's laundry and other house work to be done..

i bought a pack of self raising flour like a month ago… promised to bake something but so far… :P

i got two japanese textbooks from china really really long ago that i've not even started reading...

there's the GRE textbooks jlf gave me to read...

there's the tiger art set thing (sorry, fail explanation i know) that i bought like years ago… I'm not even sure if it can still be used now...

there's the two japanese story books i got from kino that i can attempt to read… at least i shd read the first few chapters with the help of the fan translation...

there's all the shows and anime to watch, manga to read… i got a huge book of bakuman - raw! but still have yet to read it… :X running man, GRA, HnA, last hope… etc etc...

and games… there's so many games to play… i dl-ed simcity 4, there's maple, there's the sword paladin rpg game jlf lent me… there's the two games i just dl-ed off the mac app store today… etc etc. just no mood. to do anything… ah….

and oh, how could i forget! fanfics! i've got to edit the fic i wrote for rainbow filling and then post it… and then keep writing more :P

so many things to read and do… just need to get in THE mood. lol. I'd have gone down to kino if there's anything i want to get… just so that i can wander aimlessly ard orchard road… but there's nothing i want from there atm. already got my kagi heya and platinum data…. sighs. i shall attempt to get myself to learn some japanese over the course of the week. platinum data is such a $!$!#$@#%@$*&* to read…! ok, its not. its just that my japanese standard is so bad. but yes… i don't want to waste my $$$ on the story book… and yes i am very interested in platinum data… it's coming to sg and I'm definitely going down to the cinema to watch it… well as long as its not dubbed of cos. but then i've not heard any complains about the movie going to get dubbed so… yeah it better not be dubbed. don't think it'll be dubbed right? i hope… f3. F3? It’s a emoticon used in maple. Like an… irritated/annoyed look. I find it really hard to use other stuff to replace it… and i keep wanting to type f3f3f3 lol. once a mapler, always a mapler i guess. 

 

ok, i think i've bore you enough with my rumbles… till next time!