in need of help...
Feb. 21st, 2013 07:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
coolohohwhat should i do? just started my new job and... it’s a HUGE learning curve for me to say the least. the job requires me to be and do everything I'm not... and I'm starting to fear that its not for me - even though I'm just... two weeks into the job. I'm a tom boy, but obviously in this business as a financial services consultant, i have to dress professionally... I'd be expected to put on makeup tho i've not started doing that yet... I'm speaking to loads of ppl everyday, stuff i actually dislike doing... i have to be emotional - but I'm a very logical person who puts emotions in the very back of my mind...
on top of that the way too free lifestyle is just... too free. considering that its free so that you can fix all the appointments and meet clients - something that I'm very apprehensive about... gah. it sucks. i can't get past my own fear of calling ppl, talking to ppl etc properly. and I'm still so very much still in love with science. this totally sucks. on one hand i want to do well, on the other its just too much for me to handle...
keep thinking of running away... just escaping this giant mess that i've gotten myself into. i should have let myself get sweet talked into this perhaps. wasn’t ready for the job, not sure how I'll be able to get used to it either. everyday i reach home feeling really tired and just plonk in the bed after dinner, wake up in the morning, pack up, go to work feeling lost and hopeless. yeah its just been two weeks and i think i really have no preserverance whatsoever but... arghs... gosh. and right now I'm spending so much $$$ before i can even make any. this sucks. and i need to get an ipad soon to help me with the work, since all their submissions and stuff can be done on the ipad... and that's gonna be another huge chunk of $$$ gone. and i'll have to get my parents to pay for that. arghs that means i can't even quit yeah, since i'l be in debt before i even earn $$$. ahhhhhhh just no good.......... eah i do wanna give it a try for 1, 2 years... but yeah if i do that, it could forever cut off my hopes of getting back in science ever. and if this line just doesn’t turn out to work for me... arghs. of cos there's the hope that i will get used to this work... but...? too much too much for me right now.
on top of that the way too free lifestyle is just... too free. considering that its free so that you can fix all the appointments and meet clients - something that I'm very apprehensive about... gah. it sucks. i can't get past my own fear of calling ppl, talking to ppl etc properly. and I'm still so very much still in love with science. this totally sucks. on one hand i want to do well, on the other its just too much for me to handle...
keep thinking of running away... just escaping this giant mess that i've gotten myself into. i should have let myself get sweet talked into this perhaps. wasn’t ready for the job, not sure how I'll be able to get used to it either. everyday i reach home feeling really tired and just plonk in the bed after dinner, wake up in the morning, pack up, go to work feeling lost and hopeless. yeah its just been two weeks and i think i really have no preserverance whatsoever but... arghs... gosh. and right now I'm spending so much $$$ before i can even make any. this sucks. and i need to get an ipad soon to help me with the work, since all their submissions and stuff can be done on the ipad... and that's gonna be another huge chunk of $$$ gone. and i'll have to get my parents to pay for that. arghs that means i can't even quit yeah, since i'l be in debt before i even earn $$$. ahhhhhhh just no good.......... eah i do wanna give it a try for 1, 2 years... but yeah if i do that, it could forever cut off my hopes of getting back in science ever. and if this line just doesn’t turn out to work for me... arghs. of cos there's the hope that i will get used to this work... but...? too much too much for me right now.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2013-02-21 11:27 am (UTC)Keep fighting! ::D
Don't give up to quickly, and challenge yourself to do well in this! ::) It's too early to know if you're really meant to hate this job! Have a little more faith in yourself! ::D
(no subject)
Date: 2013-02-21 03:06 pm (UTC)but the more i think the more i feel like going back to what i had been wanting to do almost all my life... unlike many of my friends who hate lab work, i actually love lab work a lot. its like i really felt so, so happy when i get in the lab. sighz now i really wonder why did i accept to do this job when its clearly not what i want/like. its like the urge to do science is really killing me. but at the same time i feel like... such a loser... just like 2 weeks into the job and this...
(no subject)
Date: 2013-02-25 05:42 am (UTC)