coolohoh: Biohazard (Biohazard)
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Title: People in Japan, can you hear me?
Author: Biohazard Geeky Nutcracker [ profile] coolohoh
Length: One Shot (548 words)
Rating: G
Pairing: Yama
Summary: Early in the morning, Sho heard his voice on the radio, and he wasn't happy about it.

A/N: This is inspired by Ohno's radio show, Arashi discovery! Read the transcript by [ profile] twosen here, or listen to the relevant part on twitter. Note: I think 'people in Japan' is a better way of phrasing than 'Japanese people', because in this instance Sho was specially calling out to people on the other side of the earth, aka those in Japan. Just my personal thoughts... But overall you get the idea. (It's a parody of a comedy gag, read more in the transcript footnotes!)

This fic is part of the Jun/Ohno matsuri! Check out more and sign up for the Ohno and Jun fic exchange at [ profile] fishing_mj!

“Leader!” Sho whined.

“Yes?” Ohno asked, squinting his eyes as he tried to make out the voice on the other side of the phone.

“How could you!” Sho accused, his whiney, screechy voice jolting Ohno out of his beauty sleep.

“How could I what, Sho-yan?” Ohno asked, eyebrows frowning in confusion.

He angled the phone mic away from his mouth as he let out a loud yawn.

It was far too early for this, whatever Sho-chan was referring to.

“How could you play the video I sent you on the radio!” Sho pouted.

“Huh?” Ohno asked, confused.

“Oh, the ‘People in Japan, can you hear me?’ video? But why not? That was so cute Sho-chan, I’m sure the fans will love it!” Ohno defended himself.

Ohno scratched his head and tried to rub the sleep from his eyes. Something was wrong. Sho isn’t the type to take offence at such trivial, insignificant things. Ohno’s sleepy mind raced to try and recall their interactions over the past month and of ways he could have unintentionally offended the caster-rapper.

Meanwhile, Sho was silent on the other end of the phone, as if he knew exactly how Ohno was panicking now, trying to figure out how to reply to Sho.

“Sho-chan… What’s wrong?” Ohno finally ventured.

“What’s wrong? You violated my privacy and you ask what’s wrong!” Sho exploded.

“But but…! Say, didn’t you write about it in jweb in the first place?” Ohno stammered.

Something was definitely wrong.

Ohno narrowed his eyes as he tried to recall today’s date. August? Or maybe it’s September already, since it’s probably a few days ago since they celebrated Jun’s birthday.

And the last time they got intimate with each other was...

Before Sho went to Rio for the Olympics...

Actually, even earlier before that because they had been busy with concerts, and Sho had a policy of not having sex during concert tours because he claims it would make him forget his dance moves.

(Though Ohno knew that was just Sakurai mama trying to ensure that concert tours don’t end up in one big orgy each time… Because they actually have like… You know, a concert to perform. Like an actual, singing, dancing type of concert.)

Mystery solved.

Ohno grinned in satisfaction.

A Sho without sex was a cranky Sho, and the way to relief the symptoms is easy. Way, too, easy.

Ohno grinned as he looked around his room. Should be go to Sho, or let the younger man come to him? Heck, it didn’t matter. He’ll let to cranky man decide.

“Sho-channnnnn,” it was Ohno’s turn to whine now.

“Yes?” Sho asked, hiding a smirk behind the phone.

It seems like Ohno had finally figured it out.

“Sho-channnn… I’m sorry, how can I make it up to you?” Ohno cooed.

“Should I go to your house?” Ohno cooed again, trying to sound apologetic and sexy all at once.

“You said on radio that you’ve been eating a lot of tako?” Sho asked.

“Uhuh,” Ohno replied, nodding, while mentally checking if he had any left in the fridge.

“I want tako.” Sho declared.

“Sure, we’ll have tako,” Ohno grinned to himself.

“See you soon?” Ohno asked.

“See you soon Oh-chan,” Sho grinned.

Mission accomplished.

August 2017



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