Tired... And inbox 0???
Apr. 30th, 2020 08:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
coolohohOk. I just hit the delete all button in my inbox because... I don't think there's anything outstanding in there, not that I can remember of... Not like 1 year after the fact.. Or something like that.
I wonder how many people are still on DW now... After Arashi got on to SNS, the way we get news about Arashi changed too. We can hear directly from them, no need to wait for news reports, TV or magazine anymore... So, how many ppl are still on DW? Especially considering how DW isn't the most updated of sites... Idk... How many people are still here, reading this? Lol.
Have not been that religious in clearing my email inbox though. Did bring it down to 60+ from 200++ earlier, but I do need to make a concerted effort to keep clearing it or it piles up quickly! I should unsubscribe from more stuff so that I don't get so much mail in the first place but... Oh wells.
Anyway. I've been trying to improve my typing! Speed and accuracy! And I've decided to fix my right hand finger placement lol. Finally using my right pinkie. Previously everything was kinda shifted down so my fourth finger was the one pressing P and what not... Just really a bit messy. Trying to get the better habits to stick and then slowly improve my speed. I want to get an average of 70 wpm on typing tests lol. Even now I still hit the backspace button with my ring finger, and instead of the right hand hitting the Y button, usually my left does it, and vice versa for the B key. And other little things that doesn't really conform to the 'proper' method. But I'm just leaving it be. Some are way more comfortable for me, like using the index finger for the C key. I don't think it impacts my typing speed that much. My left hand is doing pretty ok, right hand is the troublesome one because it's been 'misbehaving' for years... Oh wells.
And as for tired. Idk why exactly. But I was just exceptionally tired today. Didn't sleep any later than normal too. Was tired before the computation meeting. Computation meeting was really dry today, almost feel asleep during the meeting... And then I feel asleep in the covid-19 related talk after dinner. Lol.
Haven't touched python in a week again, not since last Friday. Weekend I took a break, then I got news from my boss on Monday that the paper was accepted in principle. And that meant we had to do all the final edits, checking little things to make sure they conform to the journal's standards... And preparing more documents for submission. I guess I've been reading a lot of stuff in the past few days. The same few documents over and over and over again but... Yeah. It's like. It wasn't even that intense. But still tired all the same. And we did work on stuff till late. Like, not intense, but spread out over a long time period. Was working on stuff till 11pm yesterday and even then I wasn't the hardworking one... I finished up just before 11 maybe and sent it off, and the other guy worked on it further till like 12 mn and sent it out to everyone... So maybe that's why. Nowhere near the workload of my dad though. Things have been crazy for him the past few weeks. The difference between a good boss and a bad boss. His boss calls meetings late at night, way past office hours. Calls meetings at 5pm "because you all are not going out anyway". Abuse I tell ya. Abuse. And that's the least of it, really. Loads of other stupid things they have to do that would have make me blown my top long ago. But dad puts up with it for the family. Arghs. Sigh. Cos my pathetic salary is too low to support the fam and I have NOT been managing my money properly. The sad truth. Yes the way things happen in Asian countries and I'm not gonna discuss the difference between Asian and western societies today...
In other news. We are gonna be entering the 2nd half of the circuit breaker period next week. The extended half. That means that gosh. I only have one month left and there's most likely not going to be another extension. Not unless we see a sudden explosion of community cases, which is unlikely to happen too because of the 'lockdown' measures in place. Gosh. With the rate of my python learning... I'm not even going to finish that one course I'm taking now. And now the bioinformatics course my workplace organised just started too. That means more stuff for me to do. Things were still quite leisurely the first two weeks of WFH but it suddenly picked up last week and this week. Lol. I mean, with all the document checking and proofreading and other preparations this week, I barely had time for any 'extra curricular activities'! And it's even worse too because I just have dinner and continue with work. But meh. It doesn't matter. It's the freaking last stage of the paper publishing and this very well concerns my future too. In a more round about way but still does. Paper means it's easier for my boss to get grants. Which means he has the money to hopefully keep me under him and not have to go under another grant that makes me having to end up working for someone else. Nope, I would not like that at all. But currently that's the plan because... Arghs. Yeah. The money for my grant ends in just two month's time. So what's gonna happen to me afterwards? I have no idea. Will the other project people make me work on their stuff full time? I do not know. Complicated situation indeed arghs. That would impact on whether I'll be able to make the switch to dry lab stuff too, so indeed, there is so much at stake for me here. I don't mind working for the other post doc too, he might get a grant too but he proposed hiring post docs... If he can't get a post doc maybe, just maybe, he can hire me instead. Put me under that grant. I follow people. That guy is also an ok guy to work with. My boss's best buddy. Never more than 5 mins apart. Ok, exaggerated but they are almost always together. Lunch. Desks next to each other. One would suddenly turn to the other to discuss some stuff... Whatever. Best buds indeed. And then there's me sitting behind them who's also been joining in for their lunches. Been pretty much the three of us for the past few months. Timing works out and all? And I do like the conversation. Generally intelligent conversation. Whereas with the girls it's usually some kind of gossip or funny non-work related stuff. I really enjoy it too, don't get me wrong... But somehow I just prefer the boys. I get to hear about my boss's plans and stuff too, and other insider info.
Meh. The situation in the lab is really. Meh. Bad. Like our project manager just sent out an email asking people to keep out boss informed if the collaborator side leader asks them to do anything, because my boss was totally cut off from that discussion. Like arghs wtf. Those workers are hired by my institute and their reporting officer is still my boss, our boss. But the collaborator just bosses them around like his own and worse still, completely cut off my boss from the discussion. Tell me why I shouldn't be worried! Arghs! He's taking over the lab! The good and bad thing about having a boss that's too nice huh. Oh wells. All I can hope is that he's able to get more funding soon. Oh wells. You take their money, you pay the price. Money makes the world go round. Those without money like myself can only grit and bear with it. No money, and I got no title and no power too. Nothing. At least with grants there's no one planted in by the grant agency to plot a lab takeover. Sigh. That's why I will do everything I can, as limited as it might be, to help my boss to that front. Because, at least for now, I think he's a boss worth working for. I see the potential in him. He's not perfect but he has the ideas. And he's generally a damn bloody nice person to work with. I hope things won't change in the future... But certainly for now I'm willing and able to give me all. Probably my last hurrah in the lab too. Lol. After this job. Idk. Might be my last job, my last lab in science. Not the first time I've said it, but this is no empty thought! Especially with the opportunity to switch to doing dry lab now. It may just been what's needed to aid my exit. And I don't think it was a lack of foresight that my boss basically just pushed me into doing dry lab. I'm pretty sure I spoke to him about my computation plans for the future during one of my long and drawn out messaging sessions with him. I really do communicate with people through messages than face to face. All the things I've said to my boss through whatsapp. Lol. I can't imagine doing that with any one else. No even with unsup I think. I really like and respect her a lot, we were good friends and we still keep in contact till this day. But to speak that frankly to her? I don't know... The situation then was very different for sure... But I can't imagine typing so frankly to her either. And my sup at kkh? Lol. He reprimanded me for WAY LESS. Like literally called into the office while on leave, and gave me a scolding. I scolded him back. Lol. Ok I did apologize, kept the peace somewhat, but I also left him with a piece of my mind. Can't criticize that guy in the slightest bit. Lol.
Yeah. I think that's what I enjoy the most about working with my boss. I can be rather opinionated at times, and I swear that I do think through most of it calmly and logically before voicing them out. I mean. I'm typing it out after all. I have the time to slowly think and reply. And so I hate it when people just dismiss my suggestion right off the bat. Don't listen. I hate, hate, hate that. Oh worse still are those who ask for advice and then ignores it. And gets questioned the same thing a few weeks later why they didn't try xyz, which I suggested long ago. And then those other people get the credit for suggesting it later on. Arghs. Some post docs are stupid. Really.
Not looking forward to returning to the lab really. There's just too much shit going on with all the collaborators. The external and internal ones. Arghs. So much shit. Really really hate it. Really would have left if my boss wasn't the boss he is. I don't think anyone else, anyone else that I know of anyway, would be able to keep the group together. And even then I would say the group as a whole is barely functioning. It's all separated, broken up into tiny pieces. Sigh. I really can't imagine where the lab would be, what things would be like in 2 or 3 years time. Would things be better or worse? What I do know is that the situation is similar to that with unsup years ago. The moment she said she's leaving, I knew my time was up and I should also leave. I just took way longer to find my next gig then. This time round... It's the same. If my boss decides to leave tomorrow... I'm gonna have to take a long time to evaluate my options. Assuming that following him to his next place of employment isn't possible... I would have to look at my bank account and consider my options. Do I really, really want to continue working in the lab/a lab? How much programming do I know? If it's *tmr* I would hardly know anything, so a career switch to programming isn't quite possible/practical. But if that day comes a year down the road, it could be a possibility.
And how about art? Block printing? I made some nice cute prints that I seriously, honest to goodness think is on the level that people sell for money. But of course I doubt that can feed me. Maybe feed me 1 day out of the month maybe. Lol. What I would need to do is to properly come out with a product and marketing strategy and join hands with my currently unemployed sister to do the art. She can draw. Me? Meh. More like a kindergarten doodle, though my skills might have been improving ever so slightly. Honestly, the idea of doing something different is more appealing than working in the lab, most likely as a slave to another post doc, because that's how things usually roll in other labs. Idk. It's like, in a way I'm also my boss's slave? But then again not because he gives us so much freedom. We can do whatever. Not like some post doc I know. She has a meeting with her research officer daily, and gives her the list of tasks for the day, and the tasks must be performed in the exact order and manner specified, even if the RO believes it's not going to work or like doing A and B can be done together rather than separately, or that doing E and D before lunch first makes more sense. Nope. Her word is LAW wtf. That idiot of a post doc. Nope, my boss doesn't do that. And generally he asks things in a nice way so you are willing to do stuff for him too. Unlike some other person in my lab who is totally rude about things arghs. Think's she's the boss of EVERYBODY. Even shouts down my boss who has been talking to her most very politely wth. Arghs. All sorts of characters in my lab. Arghs.
Ok. Ranted enough for now. I'mma go back to my R lessons. Starting with R for my bioinformatics/computation course thing. Got assignments to do and submit too! And well. I DO want to learn so... Gotta get to it.
I wonder how many people are still on DW now... After Arashi got on to SNS, the way we get news about Arashi changed too. We can hear directly from them, no need to wait for news reports, TV or magazine anymore... So, how many ppl are still on DW? Especially considering how DW isn't the most updated of sites... Idk... How many people are still here, reading this? Lol.
Have not been that religious in clearing my email inbox though. Did bring it down to 60+ from 200++ earlier, but I do need to make a concerted effort to keep clearing it or it piles up quickly! I should unsubscribe from more stuff so that I don't get so much mail in the first place but... Oh wells.
Anyway. I've been trying to improve my typing! Speed and accuracy! And I've decided to fix my right hand finger placement lol. Finally using my right pinkie. Previously everything was kinda shifted down so my fourth finger was the one pressing P and what not... Just really a bit messy. Trying to get the better habits to stick and then slowly improve my speed. I want to get an average of 70 wpm on typing tests lol. Even now I still hit the backspace button with my ring finger, and instead of the right hand hitting the Y button, usually my left does it, and vice versa for the B key. And other little things that doesn't really conform to the 'proper' method. But I'm just leaving it be. Some are way more comfortable for me, like using the index finger for the C key. I don't think it impacts my typing speed that much. My left hand is doing pretty ok, right hand is the troublesome one because it's been 'misbehaving' for years... Oh wells.
And as for tired. Idk why exactly. But I was just exceptionally tired today. Didn't sleep any later than normal too. Was tired before the computation meeting. Computation meeting was really dry today, almost feel asleep during the meeting... And then I feel asleep in the covid-19 related talk after dinner. Lol.
Haven't touched python in a week again, not since last Friday. Weekend I took a break, then I got news from my boss on Monday that the paper was accepted in principle. And that meant we had to do all the final edits, checking little things to make sure they conform to the journal's standards... And preparing more documents for submission. I guess I've been reading a lot of stuff in the past few days. The same few documents over and over and over again but... Yeah. It's like. It wasn't even that intense. But still tired all the same. And we did work on stuff till late. Like, not intense, but spread out over a long time period. Was working on stuff till 11pm yesterday and even then I wasn't the hardworking one... I finished up just before 11 maybe and sent it off, and the other guy worked on it further till like 12 mn and sent it out to everyone... So maybe that's why. Nowhere near the workload of my dad though. Things have been crazy for him the past few weeks. The difference between a good boss and a bad boss. His boss calls meetings late at night, way past office hours. Calls meetings at 5pm "because you all are not going out anyway". Abuse I tell ya. Abuse. And that's the least of it, really. Loads of other stupid things they have to do that would have make me blown my top long ago. But dad puts up with it for the family. Arghs. Sigh. Cos my pathetic salary is too low to support the fam and I have NOT been managing my money properly. The sad truth. Yes the way things happen in Asian countries and I'm not gonna discuss the difference between Asian and western societies today...
In other news. We are gonna be entering the 2nd half of the circuit breaker period next week. The extended half. That means that gosh. I only have one month left and there's most likely not going to be another extension. Not unless we see a sudden explosion of community cases, which is unlikely to happen too because of the 'lockdown' measures in place. Gosh. With the rate of my python learning... I'm not even going to finish that one course I'm taking now. And now the bioinformatics course my workplace organised just started too. That means more stuff for me to do. Things were still quite leisurely the first two weeks of WFH but it suddenly picked up last week and this week. Lol. I mean, with all the document checking and proofreading and other preparations this week, I barely had time for any 'extra curricular activities'! And it's even worse too because I just have dinner and continue with work. But meh. It doesn't matter. It's the freaking last stage of the paper publishing and this very well concerns my future too. In a more round about way but still does. Paper means it's easier for my boss to get grants. Which means he has the money to hopefully keep me under him and not have to go under another grant that makes me having to end up working for someone else. Nope, I would not like that at all. But currently that's the plan because... Arghs. Yeah. The money for my grant ends in just two month's time. So what's gonna happen to me afterwards? I have no idea. Will the other project people make me work on their stuff full time? I do not know. Complicated situation indeed arghs. That would impact on whether I'll be able to make the switch to dry lab stuff too, so indeed, there is so much at stake for me here. I don't mind working for the other post doc too, he might get a grant too but he proposed hiring post docs... If he can't get a post doc maybe, just maybe, he can hire me instead. Put me under that grant. I follow people. That guy is also an ok guy to work with. My boss's best buddy. Never more than 5 mins apart. Ok, exaggerated but they are almost always together. Lunch. Desks next to each other. One would suddenly turn to the other to discuss some stuff... Whatever. Best buds indeed. And then there's me sitting behind them who's also been joining in for their lunches. Been pretty much the three of us for the past few months. Timing works out and all? And I do like the conversation. Generally intelligent conversation. Whereas with the girls it's usually some kind of gossip or funny non-work related stuff. I really enjoy it too, don't get me wrong... But somehow I just prefer the boys. I get to hear about my boss's plans and stuff too, and other insider info.
Meh. The situation in the lab is really. Meh. Bad. Like our project manager just sent out an email asking people to keep out boss informed if the collaborator side leader asks them to do anything, because my boss was totally cut off from that discussion. Like arghs wtf. Those workers are hired by my institute and their reporting officer is still my boss, our boss. But the collaborator just bosses them around like his own and worse still, completely cut off my boss from the discussion. Tell me why I shouldn't be worried! Arghs! He's taking over the lab! The good and bad thing about having a boss that's too nice huh. Oh wells. All I can hope is that he's able to get more funding soon. Oh wells. You take their money, you pay the price. Money makes the world go round. Those without money like myself can only grit and bear with it. No money, and I got no title and no power too. Nothing. At least with grants there's no one planted in by the grant agency to plot a lab takeover. Sigh. That's why I will do everything I can, as limited as it might be, to help my boss to that front. Because, at least for now, I think he's a boss worth working for. I see the potential in him. He's not perfect but he has the ideas. And he's generally a damn bloody nice person to work with. I hope things won't change in the future... But certainly for now I'm willing and able to give me all. Probably my last hurrah in the lab too. Lol. After this job. Idk. Might be my last job, my last lab in science. Not the first time I've said it, but this is no empty thought! Especially with the opportunity to switch to doing dry lab now. It may just been what's needed to aid my exit. And I don't think it was a lack of foresight that my boss basically just pushed me into doing dry lab. I'm pretty sure I spoke to him about my computation plans for the future during one of my long and drawn out messaging sessions with him. I really do communicate with people through messages than face to face. All the things I've said to my boss through whatsapp. Lol. I can't imagine doing that with any one else. No even with unsup I think. I really like and respect her a lot, we were good friends and we still keep in contact till this day. But to speak that frankly to her? I don't know... The situation then was very different for sure... But I can't imagine typing so frankly to her either. And my sup at kkh? Lol. He reprimanded me for WAY LESS. Like literally called into the office while on leave, and gave me a scolding. I scolded him back. Lol. Ok I did apologize, kept the peace somewhat, but I also left him with a piece of my mind. Can't criticize that guy in the slightest bit. Lol.
Yeah. I think that's what I enjoy the most about working with my boss. I can be rather opinionated at times, and I swear that I do think through most of it calmly and logically before voicing them out. I mean. I'm typing it out after all. I have the time to slowly think and reply. And so I hate it when people just dismiss my suggestion right off the bat. Don't listen. I hate, hate, hate that. Oh worse still are those who ask for advice and then ignores it. And gets questioned the same thing a few weeks later why they didn't try xyz, which I suggested long ago. And then those other people get the credit for suggesting it later on. Arghs. Some post docs are stupid. Really.
Not looking forward to returning to the lab really. There's just too much shit going on with all the collaborators. The external and internal ones. Arghs. So much shit. Really really hate it. Really would have left if my boss wasn't the boss he is. I don't think anyone else, anyone else that I know of anyway, would be able to keep the group together. And even then I would say the group as a whole is barely functioning. It's all separated, broken up into tiny pieces. Sigh. I really can't imagine where the lab would be, what things would be like in 2 or 3 years time. Would things be better or worse? What I do know is that the situation is similar to that with unsup years ago. The moment she said she's leaving, I knew my time was up and I should also leave. I just took way longer to find my next gig then. This time round... It's the same. If my boss decides to leave tomorrow... I'm gonna have to take a long time to evaluate my options. Assuming that following him to his next place of employment isn't possible... I would have to look at my bank account and consider my options. Do I really, really want to continue working in the lab/a lab? How much programming do I know? If it's *tmr* I would hardly know anything, so a career switch to programming isn't quite possible/practical. But if that day comes a year down the road, it could be a possibility.
And how about art? Block printing? I made some nice cute prints that I seriously, honest to goodness think is on the level that people sell for money. But of course I doubt that can feed me. Maybe feed me 1 day out of the month maybe. Lol. What I would need to do is to properly come out with a product and marketing strategy and join hands with my currently unemployed sister to do the art. She can draw. Me? Meh. More like a kindergarten doodle, though my skills might have been improving ever so slightly. Honestly, the idea of doing something different is more appealing than working in the lab, most likely as a slave to another post doc, because that's how things usually roll in other labs. Idk. It's like, in a way I'm also my boss's slave? But then again not because he gives us so much freedom. We can do whatever. Not like some post doc I know. She has a meeting with her research officer daily, and gives her the list of tasks for the day, and the tasks must be performed in the exact order and manner specified, even if the RO believes it's not going to work or like doing A and B can be done together rather than separately, or that doing E and D before lunch first makes more sense. Nope. Her word is LAW wtf. That idiot of a post doc. Nope, my boss doesn't do that. And generally he asks things in a nice way so you are willing to do stuff for him too. Unlike some other person in my lab who is totally rude about things arghs. Think's she's the boss of EVERYBODY. Even shouts down my boss who has been talking to her most very politely wth. Arghs. All sorts of characters in my lab. Arghs.
Ok. Ranted enough for now. I'mma go back to my R lessons. Starting with R for my bioinformatics/computation course thing. Got assignments to do and submit too! And well. I DO want to learn so... Gotta get to it.
