This is it
Apr. 10th, 2016 10:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
coolohohBack from dinner with unsup and co. So yup, this is it. We'll see her when we visit her hometown in Penang but that's it. Yup.
Feels... Idk hahaha.
Goodbyes are always sad yeah.
But there's a lot of things that I learnt from her... As well as the rest of my colleagues... Things, lessons that I definitely don't want to forget/lose.
Like... My ability to interact with people. Well at least, interact a little better.
It's always the case with me. If I don't interact with people much, I get more and more reclusive and become a social hermit. Because well... I'm just weird like that. My social interaction module doesn't function like most people does. Like... I've discovered even in secondary school that my mind thinks things differently from others. At a leadership camp, doing those high elements activities... When the people in front of me were doing poorly... I didn't seem really enthusiastic and all because I'm just not that sort of person... So the teacher switched me with someone else, something who was really roaring to go, so that she can complete well and boost the group morale. Me? I wasn't thinking of anything like that at all! I was pretty happy that the people in front of me weren't doing well because... It means that it's easy to outshine them. Lol. I guess I've always been the competitive type. Caring for people is something that... Doesn't come naturally to me. I had to learn it. And things like taking the initiative and helping people? I learnt it from my first mentor because he was always helping others. A lot of things are just... Not normal behaviour for me. Things that seem normal to others. Like a hug or a pat on the shoulder or... Any sort of body contact... Or gestures even. As a kid my parents always scold me and say things like, "Do you even know I'm sick? Why don't you even come and ask how I'm doing?" etc etc... Well. I know very well that they are sick. I can see it. So why do I have to ask? I know it as a fact already. Yup. Non-existent social module I know. Well I probably don't care as much as I should, and I don't know how to care either. I just well... Stay out from underfoot? Heck. Even now... What am I supposed to say? Sometimes I just remark to unsup that 'You're sick again'. How do normal people do it? I just state it as a matter of fact lol.
Conversely it's funny how my parents don't notice when I'm sick. Like I get a fever and I'd just buy my own panadol and stuff. Or flu and sore throat. Like I'd be asking a few days after first falling sick if there's some other sort of medicine that I can take at home and my parents would be really surprised. And then they'll scold me for not getting the meds earlier and stuff. Well I already took the meds... And I've raided through the medicine cabinet, it's just that I'm asking if there's anything else that they have and I don't know about...
(Still trying to find a way to place the keyboard so that I can type comfortably. Typing directly on the mac so that I can try and see what's so different about the keyboard placement that's making my arms ache so badly. Ok. I think I just need more palm resting space. Like a lot more... Hmm... How do I do this? Testing testing one two three... Yeah it's my shoulders that are aching badly....)
Oh sorry where was I?
Yeah social stuff...
Yeah I think I've learnt to be a little more human again after all the interactions I've had with my colleagues. Like not just at work, or during our lunch hour, but also outside of work. (Yeah unsup at work and unsup outside of work is really so different. Well, our speech got more casual towards the end too - like we'd speak in Hokkien and colloquial English and stuff... But yeah. It's really nice to have some friends to hang out with on weekends. Even if it's just once a month or every two months or something... Yeah it's good. Recently my jc batch of friends have been meeting up too so that's a good thing as well. Otherwise... Really, I don't get any real life social interaction at all. I just stay at home during the weekends unless my parents drag me out. Too much social interaction isn't good for me... But too little and basically all that I've learnt about how to be a seemingly normal, social human being goes down the drain. I'd like to think that these days I'm much better. Even just talking to some new people at work occasionally. By new people, I mean, people whom I've never talked to before. Not necessarily people who are new at the workplace. We may have passed each other by for years (literally) and never talked. Lol.
Still prefer being alone most of the time though. Heck well, I'm an introvert after all. I'm ok with people that I do know, and know well, like unsup and co... But the rest... Can be like meh sometimes. Heck, even at work these days I still prefer to dine alone. Just me and my kindle. It's good too because otherwise when I reach home I'm so tired and I don't get to read at all.
(Shoulders are still aching... Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Is it just... A leftover from earlier?)
What else have I learnt from unsup? Loads of little things. That I've learnt, and things that I should know by now, but still forgot. Like a control for my experiments. Gosh. This is just so ridiculous. Me and the new rf started a new experiment last Friday, and neither of us thought to put a control. LOLOLOL. How pathetic. Totally laughable. Speaking of which, I've gotten away with not running a control for my PCRs so many times. Lol. And unsup never once scolded me. Lol. Even when I'm in a good mood and put controls... I only do negative controls. No positive controls. LOLOLOL. Only on the rare occasion when she actually asks for it maybe? Otherwise I'd never remember to put a control myself. Well... I guess I'd actually remember now? Maybe. Or maybe I'll end up doing only negative controls again. Lololol. Funny how I've never been scolded for it. Like never. Maybe because my PCRs always works. And unsup is always hang up about how I get such good separation on my gels for my ladder. LOLOLOL.
At least I know that gels MUST come with ladders. LOLOLOLOL
All the little things...
Unsup does things pretty differently from me. Well for one, the attention she pays to details far exceeds mine. (And you'd think I'm detailed considering how long winded I get.) Well we pay attention to different things. And of course, she pays attention to all the right things lol.
Not that she doesn't make mistakes too but... Yeah.
(For one, I think we both suck at math. Her math is still much, much better than mine though.)
And the way she records stuff on her lab notebook? Very meticulous and organised. I don't record enough stuff, and not in enough details. That's definitely something that I need to sort out before I do my PhD. Record keeping. In a way that's detailed and understandable to myself. Doesn't help that I'd always been working till really late, and I don't have the habit of recording BEFORE doing experiments. Cos when you're doing it... At least when I'm doing it, I'm just focused on the doing part. Doing the current step well and efficiently, and then the next step, and the next... There's no time to record. And already I need to work fast because it's running late cos there's so many things to do... And by the time I finished it's maybe like... 7pm already and I just dump my lab notebook in my shelf, turn off the computer (which I turn on every morning just for show, because I don't have time to sit at my desk and use the computer at all.), and run to catch the shuttle bus. Or maybe it's after 7:30 already and there's no more shuttle bus.... So yeah. Record keeping. I've never been a meticulous sort of person when it comes to those stuff so yeah... There's a lot I could learn from unsup about that.
Like. She'd ask me about some stuff I did the week before... And gosh... On the last two weeks or so... It was just really bad. I'd flip open my notebook and realise... Opps. It's useless because I've not written anything in there for the whole week because I was just too rushed. Well.... There's still other loose sheets which unsup wrote the instructions for me... Cos I made her write it down since I won't remember everything she said. Cos... There's just too many instructions coming at once lol.
On the other hand. She can flip open HER notebook, and trace what happened. When I was the one who did the experiment. Lol. And she records down who did the experiment too. So yup. That's definitely something that I'm trying to be more meticulous about. How she uses different colours to add one additional observations and results later on too... Yeah. Very organised and very helpful. Definitely something that I'll like to implement. Already I've been trying to write in more about the results and observations.... A small improvement...
Funny how with all the details I'd go into for things on the web... I don't go into that much details when I'm 'scrapbooking' on my lab notebook. Lololol.
Another habit I've picked up from unsup... Small, but still something I'm gonna stick to from now on. Folding a little edge on the tape so that it's easier to tear off. Like we always use tape to mark our glass bottles and stuff... And previously I'd just tear off the tape, (yes tear, not even cut), stick it one, then struggle to write on the curved surface of the bottle. Not unsup. She cuts the tape, stick it on the table top by the side, folds up a corner, writes on the tape with her super neat handwriting, then transfers the tape to the bottle. Yeah. Like why didn't I think of that earlier right? Much easier and neater. (My handwriting is still like bleah though but yeah...) Much better when peeling the tape off too because you don't have to scrap the tape off the bottle - just pull on that folded edge - and you also don't get the tape sticking to your gloves.
Yeah... It's really all the small things that I've picked up... Like marking the dates on the autoclave tape so you take note of which box of tips or beaker of tubes has been autoclaved first... And maybe labelling which tube is in the beaker too... Particularly when you have round cap VS flat cap PCR tubes.
All these small things that makes you more... Efficient/organised in the lab, things that you won't get from textbooks and stuff. Just like how I learnt all my pipetting skills and cell culture techniques from my first mentor. It's all these small things that makes a difference to your overall lab/experimental capabilities. All the small things that affects whether you get a low standard deviation on your qPCR or some disastrous results.
Of course, unsup has been a great role model, given me so much inspiration and encouragement. And I'm still amazed/amused by how she encouraged me to do more writing. Yup. I'll definitely keep writing. Scientific or not. I do enjoy writing. Though it can get to become a chore sometimes as with NM. Still. I don't want to stop writing. Someday I'll write my own book(s). Someday I'll get there. And in the mean time I'll keep gathering ideas, and write other short proses... Yeah, stamina is still a problem for me. I can't write long stuff. Like my chaptered spy arashi fic... Someday I'd still want to finish that though. But I'll be taking my time, and in the meanwhile I'll keep writing. Other things. Blog entries here, facebook statuses... Entries on NM... I'll just keep writing. Long entries, short entries... Entries online, entries for my personal, offline diary, entries on my personal, paper diary... Yeah. I'll just keep practising.
Of course... Unsup spurred me on to my next stage. The stage that I've been putting off for years. Because of fear, lack of knowledge... And everything else. All the experiences she had and shared with me... These were probably the most valuable things that I've learnt from her IMO. Her lab experience... Her experience of living and doing a PhD in the US... Granted, I'll certainly do better than her in several aspects than she did when she first stepped foot there. There's so much invasion of the US culture here in SG. And for me, I read about so much US stuff... At least I understand the US accent better than she did. My English now is probably much better than her's at the start. Of course... My English level still leaves a lot to be desired. Just a quick look at the vocabs in the GRE study books tells me as much. And you don't have to tell me that my grammar sucks too... And yes, after all those years in the US, unsup has great English now too. I can't imagine how she struggled when she first went there.... For me, I don't pronounce many of the words as they should be pronounced unless I'm speaking with people who also pronounce well... But see, I know, I've learnt in sec school, the proper pronunciation of many words. Like, in Singish aka Singaporean English, we basically stress all the wrong syllables, and the 'th' isn't pronounced. But I do know the right way of saying things, and I can definitely understand most of the words when pronounced the proper way. I've not had any trouble understanding my lecturers so far... Whichever country they are from and which whatever accent... So I think I can still do ok in that aspect. Would probably take me a bit to get used to it, but I think I'm still pretty adaptable in that aspect. Other things like... The socialising? Would be more worrying for me. Unlike unsup who has no problem socialising. And she's like... You go there, get to know people, and ask profs for TA positions or research assistantships... And I'm like... Ok... So I have to erm... Talk to people huh?
Yeah. Better to keep that socialising module active and well... Because I cannot afford to be a social hermit there. Maybe the environment will make me more social there too, but of course things have to go both ways eh?
At least I think people talk to each other a lot more...
Moving forward...
Yeah... I've got too many things to do to feel sad about unsup leaving. I've already spent nights crying (like while writing on the card), and emoing so it's enough already. I don't have time to mourn anymore anyway. I've got too many things to do now. I'm still busy at work... And I promised myself that I'd slack on finding a job... But only till next week. So basically tmr I have to restart my job search. There's R programming that I want to learn, since I have the book for that. There's GRE and JLPT to study for. Arashi shows to watch, blog entries to write... Erasers to carve if I want to get creative... Heck, even games waiting for me to play (not played vainglory in months again). Too much things to do. Oh gotta pack my room and all too. And back on my keyboard... Think it's more comfortable now. We'll see how it goes tmr. I think my shoulders were also aching from carrying the bag. With yet another two books from unsup. Thanks unsup! I'll just have to erm... Find a place on my already very full shelves to house them... And then find time to read them. I think I need to put a priority list for my books to read. And honestly, I should focus on JLPT more than GRE because I still have time to study and take the GRE AFTER the JLPT is over. But I'm totally not studying for the JLPT and only focusing on the GRE now. Well, the GRE has larger implications after all so...
Still. I signed up for JLPT. N1 at that.
Yes. I'll go start practising in a bit. Starting from that erm... N2 book. Lol. Or was it N3? Idk. Lol. Oh it's for N2 and N3. And I'm only at the N3 part. Lololol. I'm too slow hahaha.
Oh at least I've been typing some random facebook statuses in Japanese though. I keep using the same few words though. Again, I need to expand my vocab. And also think of other things to discuss in Japanese.
Hmmm. I think none of my work mates have discovered this place. Now I'm kinda getting impatient lol. Yeah, recently I've discovered myself getting less and less patient. Having lower and lower tolerance for time wasting things. Like equipment training, when the trainer goes so slowly and the equipment is actually pretty darn easy to use... And I feel like after taking a look at the equipment, I can use the equipment better than the trainer. How about I conduct the training instead and the company pay me? Lol. I'm honestly not that smart but... Just why are there so many dumb people around me? I guess I'm just in the wrong place huh? Yeah. It's really time to look for somewhere else. And maybe that somewhere else means not in SG.
Well. I think ultimately I just want to experience life outside. Whether there is a great research group/institute to work at in SG or not.
To that end... I'm curious about the working culture in other countries. Anyone and everyone, I'd love it if you could share how is the working culture like in your place. The working hours, are you expected to work overtime... Things like how in Singapore... There's this unspoken rule that you cannot leave the workplace before your boss. Well the boss might even stroll along the corridor when it's time to go home and check on who's leaving on time (my dad's boss was like that.) It's really bad because... People might be done with work. And yet they are not allowed to go home till the boss leaves. And basically they are just wasting what could have been family time. Or rest time. And longer working hours certainly does not reflect on productivity....
Also, would love to take this opportunity to thank everyone who reads all my long winded blog entries. Especially all of you who take the time to leave a comment. Yeah I've been very bad at replying to comments lately (yes, there's like 100 messages in my LJ inbox, literally.), but I do read everyone of time (I get email notifications for comments on my personal LJ too), so thank you very much.
Yup. Ok. Maybe I should get to packing my room a little.
Till next time everyone!
Feels... Idk hahaha.
Goodbyes are always sad yeah.
But there's a lot of things that I learnt from her... As well as the rest of my colleagues... Things, lessons that I definitely don't want to forget/lose.
Like... My ability to interact with people. Well at least, interact a little better.
It's always the case with me. If I don't interact with people much, I get more and more reclusive and become a social hermit. Because well... I'm just weird like that. My social interaction module doesn't function like most people does. Like... I've discovered even in secondary school that my mind thinks things differently from others. At a leadership camp, doing those high elements activities... When the people in front of me were doing poorly... I didn't seem really enthusiastic and all because I'm just not that sort of person... So the teacher switched me with someone else, something who was really roaring to go, so that she can complete well and boost the group morale. Me? I wasn't thinking of anything like that at all! I was pretty happy that the people in front of me weren't doing well because... It means that it's easy to outshine them. Lol. I guess I've always been the competitive type. Caring for people is something that... Doesn't come naturally to me. I had to learn it. And things like taking the initiative and helping people? I learnt it from my first mentor because he was always helping others. A lot of things are just... Not normal behaviour for me. Things that seem normal to others. Like a hug or a pat on the shoulder or... Any sort of body contact... Or gestures even. As a kid my parents always scold me and say things like, "Do you even know I'm sick? Why don't you even come and ask how I'm doing?" etc etc... Well. I know very well that they are sick. I can see it. So why do I have to ask? I know it as a fact already. Yup. Non-existent social module I know. Well I probably don't care as much as I should, and I don't know how to care either. I just well... Stay out from underfoot? Heck. Even now... What am I supposed to say? Sometimes I just remark to unsup that 'You're sick again'. How do normal people do it? I just state it as a matter of fact lol.
Conversely it's funny how my parents don't notice when I'm sick. Like I get a fever and I'd just buy my own panadol and stuff. Or flu and sore throat. Like I'd be asking a few days after first falling sick if there's some other sort of medicine that I can take at home and my parents would be really surprised. And then they'll scold me for not getting the meds earlier and stuff. Well I already took the meds... And I've raided through the medicine cabinet, it's just that I'm asking if there's anything else that they have and I don't know about...
(Still trying to find a way to place the keyboard so that I can type comfortably. Typing directly on the mac so that I can try and see what's so different about the keyboard placement that's making my arms ache so badly. Ok. I think I just need more palm resting space. Like a lot more... Hmm... How do I do this? Testing testing one two three... Yeah it's my shoulders that are aching badly....)
Oh sorry where was I?
Yeah social stuff...
Yeah I think I've learnt to be a little more human again after all the interactions I've had with my colleagues. Like not just at work, or during our lunch hour, but also outside of work. (Yeah unsup at work and unsup outside of work is really so different. Well, our speech got more casual towards the end too - like we'd speak in Hokkien and colloquial English and stuff... But yeah. It's really nice to have some friends to hang out with on weekends. Even if it's just once a month or every two months or something... Yeah it's good. Recently my jc batch of friends have been meeting up too so that's a good thing as well. Otherwise... Really, I don't get any real life social interaction at all. I just stay at home during the weekends unless my parents drag me out. Too much social interaction isn't good for me... But too little and basically all that I've learnt about how to be a seemingly normal, social human being goes down the drain. I'd like to think that these days I'm much better. Even just talking to some new people at work occasionally. By new people, I mean, people whom I've never talked to before. Not necessarily people who are new at the workplace. We may have passed each other by for years (literally) and never talked. Lol.
Still prefer being alone most of the time though. Heck well, I'm an introvert after all. I'm ok with people that I do know, and know well, like unsup and co... But the rest... Can be like meh sometimes. Heck, even at work these days I still prefer to dine alone. Just me and my kindle. It's good too because otherwise when I reach home I'm so tired and I don't get to read at all.
(Shoulders are still aching... Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Is it just... A leftover from earlier?)
What else have I learnt from unsup? Loads of little things. That I've learnt, and things that I should know by now, but still forgot. Like a control for my experiments. Gosh. This is just so ridiculous. Me and the new rf started a new experiment last Friday, and neither of us thought to put a control. LOLOLOL. How pathetic. Totally laughable. Speaking of which, I've gotten away with not running a control for my PCRs so many times. Lol. And unsup never once scolded me. Lol. Even when I'm in a good mood and put controls... I only do negative controls. No positive controls. LOLOLOL. Only on the rare occasion when she actually asks for it maybe? Otherwise I'd never remember to put a control myself. Well... I guess I'd actually remember now? Maybe. Or maybe I'll end up doing only negative controls again. Lololol. Funny how I've never been scolded for it. Like never. Maybe because my PCRs always works. And unsup is always hang up about how I get such good separation on my gels for my ladder. LOLOLOL.
At least I know that gels MUST come with ladders. LOLOLOLOL
All the little things...
Unsup does things pretty differently from me. Well for one, the attention she pays to details far exceeds mine. (And you'd think I'm detailed considering how long winded I get.) Well we pay attention to different things. And of course, she pays attention to all the right things lol.
Not that she doesn't make mistakes too but... Yeah.
(For one, I think we both suck at math. Her math is still much, much better than mine though.)
And the way she records stuff on her lab notebook? Very meticulous and organised. I don't record enough stuff, and not in enough details. That's definitely something that I need to sort out before I do my PhD. Record keeping. In a way that's detailed and understandable to myself. Doesn't help that I'd always been working till really late, and I don't have the habit of recording BEFORE doing experiments. Cos when you're doing it... At least when I'm doing it, I'm just focused on the doing part. Doing the current step well and efficiently, and then the next step, and the next... There's no time to record. And already I need to work fast because it's running late cos there's so many things to do... And by the time I finished it's maybe like... 7pm already and I just dump my lab notebook in my shelf, turn off the computer (which I turn on every morning just for show, because I don't have time to sit at my desk and use the computer at all.), and run to catch the shuttle bus. Or maybe it's after 7:30 already and there's no more shuttle bus.... So yeah. Record keeping. I've never been a meticulous sort of person when it comes to those stuff so yeah... There's a lot I could learn from unsup about that.
Like. She'd ask me about some stuff I did the week before... And gosh... On the last two weeks or so... It was just really bad. I'd flip open my notebook and realise... Opps. It's useless because I've not written anything in there for the whole week because I was just too rushed. Well.... There's still other loose sheets which unsup wrote the instructions for me... Cos I made her write it down since I won't remember everything she said. Cos... There's just too many instructions coming at once lol.
On the other hand. She can flip open HER notebook, and trace what happened. When I was the one who did the experiment. Lol. And she records down who did the experiment too. So yup. That's definitely something that I'm trying to be more meticulous about. How she uses different colours to add one additional observations and results later on too... Yeah. Very organised and very helpful. Definitely something that I'll like to implement. Already I've been trying to write in more about the results and observations.... A small improvement...
Funny how with all the details I'd go into for things on the web... I don't go into that much details when I'm 'scrapbooking' on my lab notebook. Lololol.
Another habit I've picked up from unsup... Small, but still something I'm gonna stick to from now on. Folding a little edge on the tape so that it's easier to tear off. Like we always use tape to mark our glass bottles and stuff... And previously I'd just tear off the tape, (yes tear, not even cut), stick it one, then struggle to write on the curved surface of the bottle. Not unsup. She cuts the tape, stick it on the table top by the side, folds up a corner, writes on the tape with her super neat handwriting, then transfers the tape to the bottle. Yeah. Like why didn't I think of that earlier right? Much easier and neater. (My handwriting is still like bleah though but yeah...) Much better when peeling the tape off too because you don't have to scrap the tape off the bottle - just pull on that folded edge - and you also don't get the tape sticking to your gloves.
Yeah... It's really all the small things that I've picked up... Like marking the dates on the autoclave tape so you take note of which box of tips or beaker of tubes has been autoclaved first... And maybe labelling which tube is in the beaker too... Particularly when you have round cap VS flat cap PCR tubes.
All these small things that makes you more... Efficient/organised in the lab, things that you won't get from textbooks and stuff. Just like how I learnt all my pipetting skills and cell culture techniques from my first mentor. It's all these small things that makes a difference to your overall lab/experimental capabilities. All the small things that affects whether you get a low standard deviation on your qPCR or some disastrous results.
Of course, unsup has been a great role model, given me so much inspiration and encouragement. And I'm still amazed/amused by how she encouraged me to do more writing. Yup. I'll definitely keep writing. Scientific or not. I do enjoy writing. Though it can get to become a chore sometimes as with NM. Still. I don't want to stop writing. Someday I'll write my own book(s). Someday I'll get there. And in the mean time I'll keep gathering ideas, and write other short proses... Yeah, stamina is still a problem for me. I can't write long stuff. Like my chaptered spy arashi fic... Someday I'd still want to finish that though. But I'll be taking my time, and in the meanwhile I'll keep writing. Other things. Blog entries here, facebook statuses... Entries on NM... I'll just keep writing. Long entries, short entries... Entries online, entries for my personal, offline diary, entries on my personal, paper diary... Yeah. I'll just keep practising.
Of course... Unsup spurred me on to my next stage. The stage that I've been putting off for years. Because of fear, lack of knowledge... And everything else. All the experiences she had and shared with me... These were probably the most valuable things that I've learnt from her IMO. Her lab experience... Her experience of living and doing a PhD in the US... Granted, I'll certainly do better than her in several aspects than she did when she first stepped foot there. There's so much invasion of the US culture here in SG. And for me, I read about so much US stuff... At least I understand the US accent better than she did. My English now is probably much better than her's at the start. Of course... My English level still leaves a lot to be desired. Just a quick look at the vocabs in the GRE study books tells me as much. And you don't have to tell me that my grammar sucks too... And yes, after all those years in the US, unsup has great English now too. I can't imagine how she struggled when she first went there.... For me, I don't pronounce many of the words as they should be pronounced unless I'm speaking with people who also pronounce well... But see, I know, I've learnt in sec school, the proper pronunciation of many words. Like, in Singish aka Singaporean English, we basically stress all the wrong syllables, and the 'th' isn't pronounced. But I do know the right way of saying things, and I can definitely understand most of the words when pronounced the proper way. I've not had any trouble understanding my lecturers so far... Whichever country they are from and which whatever accent... So I think I can still do ok in that aspect. Would probably take me a bit to get used to it, but I think I'm still pretty adaptable in that aspect. Other things like... The socialising? Would be more worrying for me. Unlike unsup who has no problem socialising. And she's like... You go there, get to know people, and ask profs for TA positions or research assistantships... And I'm like... Ok... So I have to erm... Talk to people huh?
Yeah. Better to keep that socialising module active and well... Because I cannot afford to be a social hermit there. Maybe the environment will make me more social there too, but of course things have to go both ways eh?
At least I think people talk to each other a lot more...
Moving forward...
Yeah... I've got too many things to do to feel sad about unsup leaving. I've already spent nights crying (like while writing on the card), and emoing so it's enough already. I don't have time to mourn anymore anyway. I've got too many things to do now. I'm still busy at work... And I promised myself that I'd slack on finding a job... But only till next week. So basically tmr I have to restart my job search. There's R programming that I want to learn, since I have the book for that. There's GRE and JLPT to study for. Arashi shows to watch, blog entries to write... Erasers to carve if I want to get creative... Heck, even games waiting for me to play (not played vainglory in months again). Too much things to do. Oh gotta pack my room and all too. And back on my keyboard... Think it's more comfortable now. We'll see how it goes tmr. I think my shoulders were also aching from carrying the bag. With yet another two books from unsup. Thanks unsup! I'll just have to erm... Find a place on my already very full shelves to house them... And then find time to read them. I think I need to put a priority list for my books to read. And honestly, I should focus on JLPT more than GRE because I still have time to study and take the GRE AFTER the JLPT is over. But I'm totally not studying for the JLPT and only focusing on the GRE now. Well, the GRE has larger implications after all so...
Still. I signed up for JLPT. N1 at that.
Yes. I'll go start practising in a bit. Starting from that erm... N2 book. Lol. Or was it N3? Idk. Lol. Oh it's for N2 and N3. And I'm only at the N3 part. Lololol. I'm too slow hahaha.
Oh at least I've been typing some random facebook statuses in Japanese though. I keep using the same few words though. Again, I need to expand my vocab. And also think of other things to discuss in Japanese.
Hmmm. I think none of my work mates have discovered this place. Now I'm kinda getting impatient lol. Yeah, recently I've discovered myself getting less and less patient. Having lower and lower tolerance for time wasting things. Like equipment training, when the trainer goes so slowly and the equipment is actually pretty darn easy to use... And I feel like after taking a look at the equipment, I can use the equipment better than the trainer. How about I conduct the training instead and the company pay me? Lol. I'm honestly not that smart but... Just why are there so many dumb people around me? I guess I'm just in the wrong place huh? Yeah. It's really time to look for somewhere else. And maybe that somewhere else means not in SG.
Well. I think ultimately I just want to experience life outside. Whether there is a great research group/institute to work at in SG or not.
To that end... I'm curious about the working culture in other countries. Anyone and everyone, I'd love it if you could share how is the working culture like in your place. The working hours, are you expected to work overtime... Things like how in Singapore... There's this unspoken rule that you cannot leave the workplace before your boss. Well the boss might even stroll along the corridor when it's time to go home and check on who's leaving on time (my dad's boss was like that.) It's really bad because... People might be done with work. And yet they are not allowed to go home till the boss leaves. And basically they are just wasting what could have been family time. Or rest time. And longer working hours certainly does not reflect on productivity....
Also, would love to take this opportunity to thank everyone who reads all my long winded blog entries. Especially all of you who take the time to leave a comment. Yeah I've been very bad at replying to comments lately (yes, there's like 100 messages in my LJ inbox, literally.), but I do read everyone of time (I get email notifications for comments on my personal LJ too), so thank you very much.
Yup. Ok. Maybe I should get to packing my room a little.
Till next time everyone!
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(no subject)
Date: 2016-04-10 10:49 pm (UTC)Mostly, though, I'd say...one of the biggest differences is if you are salary vs hourly. If you get paid by the hour, you are expected to leave when your hours are done. If you are salary, you are expected to leave when your work is done! In neither case does it matter if the boss is still there or not.
Also, it depends on if you feel emotionally invested in what you do. If you want to go that extra mile or not. If you have a job and a boss you hate, you do the minimum required and get out. If you have a job and boss you love, you do the best you can. If you have a mix, you try hard and complain a lot ;)
*hugs you*
(no subject)
Date: 2016-04-15 06:59 am (UTC)The topic of social skills you're talking about is very interesting, I think. As a true introvert, I totally feel you on how difficult socializing can be at times and how much it can drain someone. But without social contact at all it doesn't really work either, right?
For me this has become a very difficult topic those past years. Tbh, for a long time I really wondered what's wrong with me. Sometimes I still do because I do and feel things that are uncommon even for introverts (I think) but those are just phases so lets but that aside atm. However, ever since I can remember myself trying to socialize, I felt that I was different from other people. For me it was always different and I often felt not understood and out of place. It's not that I cannot socialize. In fact I think that I even have high social skills because I can relate to a lot of people and situations which makes it easy for me to understand and to fit into other's shoes, respectively, I also know how to act to make them feel comfortable in a social situation. It's just... even knowing this, doesn't mean that I always have the strength to do it. And the more I'm tired and exhausted (and recently it's becoming a huge burden to me) the harder it becomes. Recently, I even often choose to not be social, to not make use of my social skills because they are often more draining than helping. I sacrificed a lot of time and feelings for other people in the past and I barely got anything back. It's not that I want something back but I at least want to see some progress or people to be thankful for what I'm doing for them. I learned that most people are not. Well, that's OK. I just learned not to sacrifice myself that much any longer. Also regarding social contact, I stopped forcing myself. I think it's hard to find a good balance between social time and me time. I realized that I'm a type who needs LOOOTS of me-time, first to recharge my batteries and second to live my creativity and I need both to be able to function in social situations again. I'm lucky enough that most of my friends are introverts too so they understand my behavior, but some do not and towards them, I often feel guilty. But I think that's of no use, right?
OK, I think I drifted away... what did I wanted to say? Ah yeah. I can really relate to your "problems" with social contacts (I don't like to call it "problems", it's just some different behaviour, right? But in lack of another term...) For some people, asking the obvious (like "Aren't you feeling well" if the other person obviously looks ill) is kind of... nonsense? I'm not even sure if it's a social skill to be able to ask others such a question, I think it's more a social skill to see and decide in which situation it's good to ask or not to ask. Some people might feel happy about being asked about their condition, others not. Sometimes it's a bit hard to see which type the other person is but the better you know that person, the easier it is I think. And if you don't know someone well, it's not necessary to interact much on social basis I guess. Also with the body contact... some feel comfortable with it, some not. I'm bad with body contact. I exchange it, but mostly only with people I'm very close to and even then I sometimes have issues with it. It really depends on the situation and on the person.
(no subject)
Date: 2016-04-15 06:59 am (UTC)Btw since we were talking about being introvert, do you know which one of the 16 personality types you are exactly? I made a test online some time ago and I have to say the result was pretty much fitting and helped me to understand myself and my behavior better. I think for introverts the most important is to understand how you and your mind works. If we know that, we can adjust to it, accept it and integrate ourself in this mostly extroverted world a bit better. (Btw, I'm an INFJ. Let me know if you are interested and need the link for the test I was talking about.)
JLPT... reminds me that I still have to reorganize my studying schedule with my friend so that we'll be able to take a test in December. Not sure yet if I'll go for the N4 or N3, I will have to decide until September >.<" Good luck with your studies!!!
About your question regardingn working culture in other countries... I think I can't say much about it. I'm still stuck at my first job ever since 2010 now. Sure I know how things work at my working place but it's different everywhere I think. And I'm too much of an ignorant to have a good picture over the whole working situation in general that's going beyond my own job. So I don't know how accurate these things are, but something I can say is for example that for most people (office work) working hours are 8 hours per day, 37,5 – 40 hours per week. Of course at my working place it's 40 hours per week -.-" And it's not uncommon to do extra hours. Which are usually not paid. But in our environment we can "take some time off" with those extra hours like "oh I have 4 hours extra, I can take off half a day and do some appointments I don't have time for otherwise" or special at my place – if I have 8 hours + extra within one month (which isn't hard to get) I can take one day off extra. But sometimes it doesn't work because of holiday schedules of my colleagues and such. We have between 25 – 30 days of holidays, in some environments people have more days off the older they get/more experienced they get. I'm not sure if there is a limit. Like I said it depends on the working place. In the beginning I had less holidays, since last year I have 30 days of holidays a year. But still it's much too less XDD. We do not have the unspoken rule here that we can't leave before our boss because our bosses (attorneys) have much more working hours than we "normal employees". In the beginning it was stricter but these past few years our attorneys learned that it's just unrealistic and annoying and exhausting if a normal employee who starts working at half past 7 has to stay at work until half past 7 in the evening just because boss messed up his schedule and can't leave earlier... but I guess there are places where this rule applies.
I can't think about much more now... so I'll leave it at this. Spamming your inbox with another comment XD Don't feel pressured to reply. We can also talk via LINE like we do from time to time of course. Have a good day!
(no subject)
Date: 2016-04-15 08:10 am (UTC)Thanks for answering my question about the work culture! That was what unsup was telling me too... I feel a little sense of dread to find a new job because of the work hours... Most likely the hours will be longer than my current job... Gosh, why am I working so hard here? T.T
I'll definitely work hard and try even harder to get my a$$ to the US, thanks dear! <3
(no subject)
Date: 2016-04-15 08:20 am (UTC)Yes I definitely need to work on balancing my me time, study time, socializing time, and rest/exercise time. Oh, and work time too of course! :P I feel like my whole schedule (sleeping schedule especially) is so out of whack now...