coolohoh: Biohazard (Biohazard)
coolohoh ([personal profile] coolohoh) wrote2016-05-14 08:22 pm

[One Shot] Little Nino, Big Sweater

Title: Little Nino, Big Sweater
Length: One Shot (~860 words)
Rating: G
Pairing: Ninomiya Kazunari
Summary: Little Nino got a big sweater.

A/N: After reading this hilarious series of Tumblr posts, I decided to do my own rendition of the story.

Once upon a (recent) time, in a land far away (for those with no money to buy plane tickets), there lived Little Nino.

Now Little Nino was very stingy, and he hated going out of the house. Instead, he preferred doing his shopping from bargain websites online.

One fine day, he chanced upon a Chinese site call TaoBao, selling the cheapest goods he'd ever seen. Little Nino was so happy, he rolled on the floor laughing with joy.

"Now I'll be able to save up for the new Zelda game coming out next year!" Little Nino exclaimed out loud.

He was so very happy, for playing video games was his passion.

'Maybe I can even buy cheap goods and resell them in Japan!' Little Nino thought, his mind always full of ways to make money.

With that in mind, Little Nino browsed the site, looking for the best deals he can find.

Only that there was one minor (or maybe, major,) problem. Little Nino cannot read Chinese.

He squinted his eyes at the suspicious characters. Sure, some of them are the same as, or similar to Japanese kanji... but there were so many foreign characters staring back at him, Little Nino soon got a headache. All he understood were the pictures (photos never lie), and the price tag (numbers never lie too).

Suddenly, Little Nino had a brainwave!

'I should load the page up in Google Chrome, they can auto translate the page for me!'

And so he did. Delighted at himself, Little Nino decided to buy some new clothes to reward himself for his cleverness.

A bright red, warm (for it's winter soon) looking sweating winked at him. Little Nino winked back, and the sweater winked once more.

"I like this sweater! I will buy it!"

And so Little Nino did. He danced around the house in glee, hardly containing his excitement as he waited for his purchase to arrive.


The sweater finally came.

Little Nino gleefully tried it on and peered into the mirror.

The sweater was too big. It reached all the way down to his knees and his hands were nowhere to be seen. If the neck hole was any bigger, it would slide right off his shoulders (thankfully it doesn't).

Still, Little Nino was happy. The sweater was soft and comfy, the sweater was warm. Most importantly, the sweater was cheap.

"1000 yen for a sweater! Including shipping! What a steal!" Little Nino exclaimed.

For Little Nino was very stingy, and he liked anything as long as it was cheap.


Little Nino wore the sweater everyday, for the weather was turning cold and the sweater kept him warm. He wore it to bed, he wore it while gaming, he even wore it to the market, oblivious of all the strange stares thrown his way.

Finally, Little Nino decided that he could stand the stench of the sweater no more. It was time for a washing.

Little Nino searched the house for every single piece of clothing that needed washing and stuffed them in his shopping trolley. For the coin operated washing machines charged by the load, and Little Nino wanted to make the most of every yen.

Little Nino picked at the fluffy bear on his old light blue sweater. The bear was fluffy and cute, but Little Nino missed his comfy big red sweater. He couldn't even play his games properly because he felt too uneasy. The big red sweater gave him warm and security.

After an agonizing wait (1 hour, 37 minutes, and 43 seconds, to be exact), the washing machine+dryer finally sounded a resounding 'Ping'. Little Nino rushed over to the machine and eagerly opened the door, careful not to let his clothes fall out the door. Alas, where as the load had been filled to the brim at the start, there was now plenty of space available. The sweater was GONE! Bewildered, Little Nino took out his clothes one by one, loading them back in his shopping trolley.

Finally, he found it. The big red sweater was no more. It had shrunk into a small red sweater.

Desperate, Little Nino ran to the toilet and tried the sweater on. The sleeves barely came up to his elbows, it barely covered half his torso (at least the nipples were covered, belly button and one pack showing though), and the small neck hole nearly choked him.

Big Nino, Little Sweater.

And Big Nino was sad.

He sat by the toilet door and wept.

The shop owner Ohno-chan came by.

"What's wrong Nino?" He asked, cocking his head to the side.

"My sweater...!" Nino sobbed.

"What's wrong with it?" Ohno asked, not understanding.

"It's small!" Nino wailed.

"But it looks just right. Like a concert costume... or a beach outfit!" Ohno exclaimed.

"Ah, just a little cold for the winter though..." Ohno commented, scratching his head.

Big Nino's eyes widened at the comment. Why didn't he think of that? A sweater perfect for the summer!

Big Nino was sad no more. He happily skipped home with the red sweater covering the fluffy bear, while pushing a huge trolley of fresh and clean laundry.

Now, Big Nino wears the Little Sweater in summer.

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