Nov. 9th, 2016

Talk

Nov. 9th, 2016 02:49 am
coolohoh: Biohazard (Biohazard)
I've been social!

So a jc friend who's absconded to the US came back to SG on holiday. And it was pretty last minute... But I met up with her on Monday evening. Night. Midnight.

Just the two of us.

It really surprised me how much we had to talk about. I mean... The last time we talked so much was probably a decade ago when we were still in jc. And after her being aboard for so long and all... We've drifted apart.

But.

I guess that was precisely the reason why we had so much to talk about. Because she broke out of the box, the cage that in this country's rules and boundaries. And because I'm a little bird so very trapped here, so very much wanting to break free but still lacking the courage and motivation to do so... (and no also lost and questioning her life direction). We just chatted and chatted. First we had tim sum. Then we switched to a Japanese café for mocha ice cream to talk more. And when they were closing up, I asked my friend if she knew of any bar or something to go to. Of course she checked out the bars nearby. She loves drinking after all. So I went to my first ever bar, feeling totally out of my league and definitely under dressed (because basically my whole wardrobe consists of T-shirts, shirts, and jean)... In this high end hotel... And then we ordered some drinks and chatted some more. Got some 16 year whiskey with chocolate bitters and it was nice. Pricey. But at least it was good alcohol. Like, no the diluted with tons of ice kind of drink. Felt like my stomach couldn't quite take it though. Well... My stomach has been screwed up recently so...

Yeah. We talked about a lot. I complained about my work. And then we complained about the sad state of things in sg. And then she talked about her work, her future plans... Her girlfriend... And I lamented about how I'll probably never meet someone as long as I stay in sg. Because the selection pool of people is just so small. Not that there isn't any. And I've not even tried yet... But right now I can't even be bothered to and I feel pretty happy doing random crap on my own so I'm good. Doesn't matter that I'm missing the fertility window blah blah blah because I'm sure I don't want to have kids. Not even to adopt. Not that I have anything against kids but I'm just not good with them. And I won't be any sort of parent so yeah. Still a kid who wants to play around...

It was a really great, refreshing talk. Like... When was the last time I had such a great intellectual discussion? Oh. When unsup was still working here....

Like even when I hang out with my other jc friends... Some of them are more conservative, or we just have different opinions and interests and like... They just don't feel what I've felt, and therefore they can't understand what I'm talking about. Like the doctor who just like stability and she's surrounded by many other Singaporean doctors anyway so she doesn't realise how it's even possible that I'm one of the very few and rare Singaporeans in my workplace. They benefitted from the government, I suffered. Naturally our viewpoints will differ. So it's lik... While I totally understand them when they're talking about their work and all the medical lingo and stuff (I pride myself in being fairly well read/knowledgeable), they are pretty clueless when I try to explain to them about my work... Like I have to wash things down a lot. Like... sometimes I feel like I can't even get my sentiments across... Which is funny because the other ex-classmate I just hanged out with did econs and law. You'd think that medical doctors and scientists would be more alike.

But I suspect... The main culprit is the different mindset and viewpoint that we have. Mind is the 'less conventional', by the Singaporean yardstick that is. Heck. I've never been one for rules and all that crap.

Why I am trapped in this stupid island?

Trapped trapped trapped.

People's mindset are just so....

Arghs.

Like I told a friend's friend that I was making a Japanese learning website. He was like, oh cool, why don't you advertise it in comics con or something?

I was like... HUH? Firstly, I'm not appealing to the comics lovers. I have a different market. Secondly, I'm not even targeting Singaporeans! It's a website dude. Www. World wide web! Global man. Global. It has never once crossed my mind to do some sort of physical advertisements. Google. SEO. I was learning about those. And right now? The top no. of visitors comes from USA, followed by Indonesia, then Philippines, then Singapore... And a whole boatload of other countries. Countries don't even matter really. I'm targetting Arashi lovers. Full stop. Wherever they may be. That's my target audience.


So anyway... I was talking to my friend about unsup and the sups after that and all... And when I reached home after calling an uber for the first time... because I hardly go anywhere till past midnight when the trains stop running - because I don't hang that many people to hang out with, and my doctor friends either have an early start or are post call... I checked my mail and realise that unsup is alive! I mean, I got an email from unsup. Work related stuff of course. And then I managed to catch her for a bit earlier and we chatted. Mostly I chatted. And just spammed her. Tsk. I wonder if she finds me irritating or something... Cos I type so much. Well I can imagine she's busy with her baby and other stuff too, hence the short replies. But yeah. I'm the type who types about 10000x more than I talk... So when it's via a screen the words comes typing out (almost) uninhibited. And also because well... There's hardly anyone I can talk to about work who'd understand. That's why I rant here I guess. Shouting out into the ether for everyone, anyone to hear. Maybe because having no response is better than getting the wrong response. Like when you're looking for encouragement, they try to gently dissuade you instead.

Still happy about having met up 1 on 1 with that friend. Like the last time she came back we only had a group gathering and the topic was on stuff like western movies and actors and actresses, all of which I don't watch/know.

I was asking unsup if she has some ideas for a new blog url/name... And she's like, how do you even keep track of all your blogs! Well. Only some of them. The important ones. The others are just there, in the back of my mind... Ignored, most of the time.

And well...

Idk.

I like writing.

I like blogging.

I don't think it'll ever give me significant monetary returns to blog, but I can build up a following. Well, with a new topic and blogging style I think I'll build up a better following than NM anyway. I mean... I've met people on LINE over and over who knew thanked me for my work on SF, or were my fans, or really liked my fics. I actually have a following on LJ... Though you can say it'll be sad if I don't, considering how many communities I'm involved in and all.

But I'm pretty sure I can do that in other spaces too. I'm good at stuff like this. Like making a forum community vibrant and alive. I just have to find a way to capitalise on it. It's something that I really enjoy doing, and that I'm good at. If I can find a way to monetise it... I'm all set. Lol.

But yeah... I like doing blogs. Making LJ community. 'Meeting' new people online, gaining virtual fame. I just enjoy it. It's like... Kinda like a hobby maybe, but sometimes it's a hobby that has turned too serious and becomes a chore... Which is something that I do have knack of doing.

More importantly though... I'm bored I guess. Just bored. It takes so much to keep me entertained. My sis needed some help with her pysche stuff earlier and she had to program the questions for her pysche survey for the final year project and like... I got the problem broken down and understood and tried to explain it in a variety of different ways and yeah... It was just so clear to me but she couldn't see it. And I couldn't explain it better anymore so I just did my own stuff while she sat on my bed and huffed and puffed till she finally got it.

Like things that are obvious to me, common sense... Doesn't seem to be obvious or common sense to others. I even get bored at equipment trainings because they guys are so long winded and just by looking at the user interface I more or less got it already. I don't get why people ask those stupid questions that are so obvious, just as I don't get why my dad insists on questioning those sales person whom I can tell at a glance scarcely know about the product they are selling and it's better if I just read the box myself, and then getting almighty pissed when they can't answer his questions. Because geez, can't you tell they don't know shit? Just. Bored. I'm so fucking bored out of my mind half the time. That's why I'm always looking for something new to do or play... I should get deep into one thing instead but well... Idk. I need to find something that can really draw me in. Well, there's a lot actually. But not the things at work.

Boredom...

Yeah... That's why I do all these to keep myself entertained...So many, so many ideas...


So yeah. Two nice talks. Would love to meet up and talk more with that friend before she jets off to the world too far away again. (And yeah, although we're friends on fb and stuff, we just never chat online, lol...)

It's really late. I should sleep. But my sleep pattern has been messed up and I've been sleeping later than this for the last 4 days so yeah whatever.

Oh! Last thing. Gonna attend the talk by Prof. Helicobacter Drinker tmr. Excited! Should be really fun!

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