coolohoh: Biohazard (Default)
If you've been wondering why I've kinda disappeared from the web... It's because pretty much the entire of yesterday and today was spent helping my dad get his iphone 7 plus. Well yesterday was just going around the mall and checking out pretty much every major phone out on the market. Oppo, samsung, iPhone, Huawei....  

And despite all that, dad couldn't make a decision... So the actual buying was left till this afternoon.

After finally getting the phone, we spent hours looking for a phone cover.... Finally he got two plastic soft cases at 2 for $10. Seriously he spends just a little too much time on these things... And then the screen protector. We went to so many shops too for it... Cos you know these days they come up with tempered glass screen protectors that are so small? Some leave such a big gap on the sides that a good few mm of the LCD isn't covered? Of course dad wasn't pleased and we shopped around a lot. Until finally he got sick of it and found one that was slightly bigger, and left only like one mm of the screen unprotected. Well honestly that's something I'm also unhappy about. Like the screen protectors are freaking small... But well that's just the way everyone manufactures the stuff these days. Sigh.

Then I helped him set up some basic stuff. Mail, contacts, calendar... And with each item he checks and double checks to see if it's working etc.... 

So yup. It's now past 11 pm. And it's the first day of work tmr... I'm wondering what I should bring... Found a notebook from my career fair looting days and dumped it in my bag. A rather thick (like 1 inch?) notebook.... Gonna leave that in the office. I wonder how it's like... At least I should get a desk right? Gotta pack a few pens and stuff to leave in the office too I guess? Mugs and other 'luxury goods' can wait....

Hmm... Excited and nervous... No idea what's it like at all... Hmmm.... I don't even really know how to get to the place from the MRT station. Like, I've never actually walked that route before. Cos the HR was in a different building away from the hospital.

No idea how long the journey will take too... Ahh... So many unknowns. Hope I'll like working there and all... I'm more nervous than excited maybe. Apprehensive. I don't even really remember the faces of the people who interviewed me anymore... It's been quite a while...

Hmmm... And I'll be wearing new clothes too...

So many unknowns.

Meh. I'm sleepy... Gotta get a few things done then head to bed... The rest of the web stuff will have to wait. Sigh. In the end I only managed to catch up till June 2016 shows. Thought I could watch more over the weekend but nope. Dad's stupid note 4 had to die on Thurs. Like really geez! Of all the time to die. In the middle of nowhere. Half a year after the iPhone 7 came out and another half a year there about till the next iPhone/samsung note release. If it died earlier than dad will just get the iPhone without a doubt. But then cos the exploding note problem came along, and the phone could still hang on, we decided to wait... But nope the phone wouldn't let us wait... So yeah. 

It's that sort of feeling when you just bought a new gadget and then in a few months a new one comes out that we hate... And the iphone isn't cheap too....

But at least, the chances of it failing prematurely are much lower than a samsung.... Still the case I'm afraid...

Oppo phones actually look good, with great specs, at a much cheaper price w/o contract... But the carriers don't' subsidise it as much, making it a less attractive option when you're buying a phone with contract. The thing about phones like Oppo and Huawei though, is that they run a re-skinned version of android. For people like me, and also my dad... (?), we like playing with the tech and stuff, and not having the full, 'proper' android version really sucks. Basically you aren't getting a lot of the features of the newest OS... Like the split screen features in Nougat. Pretty sure the re-skinned EMUI or something on Huawei phones doesn't have it. And Oppo is even worst cos it's still running the Color OS based on android 6.0 i.e. Marshmallow. (Nougat is android 7.0.)

Why do they have to use re-skinned android? I really don't understand.... They just can't leave the OS alone... At least Samsung doesn't redo the OS almost completely like the rest does.... Meh, then again I've yet to see a Nexus phone or a Pixel so I don't even know what unmodified android looks like. I'd honestly like to see a Pixel. Heard so many good comments about the phone and all...

Meh. I'm really a tech junkie huh? Thanks to all the tech podcasts I subscribe and listen to... I know all the latest tech news and stuff.. Though in my two weeks of vacation I barely listened to any podcasts and now I have over 100 episodes and over 4 gb of podcasts accumulated... And a lot of the episodes are in the 1-2 hour long range too :( Even though I listen to them at the max speed (around 2.2x? it's a variable speed) it still takes forever to finish listening to one episode... I really should cut down on the number of podcasts I follow but... Each one is really very interesting and I've learnt so much... I just hope that I'll be able to keep up my listening habits in the lab at my new job too...

So yeah... Haven't had the time to update any of the masterposts... Or to even do my runescape guild weeklies. Heck, haven't even played vainglory in a while... Too much stuff to be done. Spent bulk of my vacation on DW... *sigh* 

And now, the vacation is over... :(

Oh wells. New start tmr. Hoping that everything is good.

Alright. It's really getting quite late now. That's all then...

The end!

Apr. 21st, 2017 10:56 pm
coolohoh: Biohazard (Default)
And so it's done. Turned in all my cards and passes... All my lab notebooks and data... Logged out from everything and deleted my user account in my work pc... All over. I'm 'unemployed' for the weekend.

All that's left is my uni staff card with my hole punched through the middle of the magnetic strip - I opted to keep the card as a souvenir since they gave the option.

Now some compartments of my leather wallet - another product from kickstarter - are lose because of the fewer cards. Kinda worried if my ezlink and condo card will fall out... If I hold the wallet with the compartment opening facing down and shake, the cards do come out... The soft leather is kinda rubbed thin at some parts because it's always in my pocket, and well, I sweat.... Maybe I'll change to another kickstarter wallet soon...

Was a rather lonely last day at work. Though I did spend some time talking to two of my colleagues. And got a farewell card from them and a gift card whee! Thank you! 

Though I'd kinda wished it was a gift card to kino but no I really shouldn't be looking at a gift horse in the mouth. And it was really thoughtful of them, a gift card to spotlight... Because I guess they know about my various crafting hobbies. But unfortunately spotlight sells more of those... crafting supplies...? If only it was for say... art friend, I'd have a ton of things to buy... :P Cos I don't really sew... But I've not been to spotlight in a long time cos it's out of the way... I'm sure I'll find a ton of stuff to get if I go there... Cos well... I just love these sort of crafting stuff regardless.

So thank you!

Ah... Still haven't watched the I'll be there PV or making.

And no, I've not done any comm invites or SF membership, and I won't be doing them tonight. Please be a little more patient ok? I'm really tired now and there's some things I need to do - e.g. layout before I start sending out the invites.

Honestly I'm surprised at the number of PMs I've received. I mean, it was a tiny comm to began with. And then I've been on hiatus since forever.... But already I have like... 10% of the members PM me. It's been days since SF@DW opened and we don't even have 10% of of the members there yet. In one day I got like maybe 1/3 or more of the current SF@DW membership numbers in term of PMs.... I'm surprised...

But yeah, I did say in the post that you'll have to wait a while before the invites get processed. Consider yourself warned. 

Went out for dinner with my jc friends earlier.

As usual, there was a lot of hospital talk cos that's what happens when you put two doctors and one pharmacist together. And hurrah, come next monday, I'll also be sort of stepping into that world with my job in the hospital research lab.

And I must say that I've always really enjoyed listening to their stories. Fascinating. I've always been interesting in that area of science after all. No that I want or ever wanted to be a medical doctor. It's just not a job for me. Med school would have killed me with all the memorisation work, and I don't enjoy talking to people anyway. I doubt seeing and treating patients will give me any joy. Heck, even just attempting to do sales made me so mentally exhausted. Nope, not for me.

But learning about that stuff? Always have loved it. Really enjoyed the talk. And I'm happy to be finally stepping back into the world. To me medical related research, whether more on the clinical side or more towards basic research, has always been where I should be. Where the game is. And now I'm finally stepping back into the game. Finally.


I'm back. 
coolohoh: Biohazard (Default)
And so... I've pinned my DW reading page on chrome and now it sits there besides my LJ friend feed.

I just looked at my reading page and gosh... So many updates. Nice nice... Things are getting more lively here. Hoping that more comms will moveover... Cos gah... Who knows what's gonna happen in LJ now? I don't want to see my favourite comms disappearing... Or if my own LJ disappears... That'll really suck too...

So I'm now flooded with emails from LJ because I get an email notification every time I get a PM. Sigh. I'll settle the membership stuff... This weekend I guess.

No more holiday. :(

It's my last day of work at this job tmr. Next monday I'll be reporting to a new job at a new location...

And well, I spent the last few hours looking at the flood of emails in my inbox on my phone... While not being able to do anything about it cos I was helping my dad.

Well, it's definitely not a waste of time, but it still makes me feel like a whole chunk of time disappeared because in a sense it did....

Not a waste of time though.


My dad's Note 4 died a sudden death this morning. Apparently it was super hot when he checked the phone this morning to turn the power off the charger. And then he just couldn't power on the phone. Black screen all the way. Not even like, stuck in a boot loop or anything of that sort. Nope. It just won't power on. Black screen all the way. Take out battery, replace, press power button... Charge again, put in battery while plugged in etc... He even has a spare battery to try and nope. Nothing works. The phone is dead as a dodo.` 

Thankfully, I've got some spare phones lying around...

My dad's iPhone 4s that he used, and passed over to my when my iPhone 5s died, and the xiaomi note red my parents got for me as a holdover phone when my 5s died and my contract was still far from ending. In the end I used my dad's 4s for about... Half a year or so.

Yeah. Both phones still work. The 4s is what.... Hmmm, 5, 5s, 6, 6s, 7, now 5 going 6 years old. Still works fine. Why oh why did my 5s get burnt out :( Sigh. Cos I freaking fell asleep while playing on my phone and somehow because of the game, the screen didn't turn off. It just ran the whole night. Worst still, I freaking slept on my phone and it basically just got sooo hot till I finally woke up. And in that process, the insides got burnt up. Sigh.

So we spent like... 3 hours or so getting some of the basic stuff to work on the xiaomi. Cos well, the 4s has such a tiny screen and my dad's eyesight isn't what it used to be anymore. Heck, in this age of large phones, even the 4s looks tiny to me. It took us super long to get the google calendar set up cos we kept getting a server error. In the end it turns out that we had to reinstall the google calendar app..

And then there was the on/off button to fix by stuffing some paper underneath the casing...

And loads of other stuff that we did here and there to try and recover some data onto the phone and all...

Now my dad's deciding between the galaxy S8+ and the iPhone 7+. Cos well... He's not really willing to wait all the way till sept/oct, and now after the sudden death of his note 4, he's no longer keen on getting the note.

Oh wells. We'll see...

Ultimately it's his own decision to make on whether to stick with samsung or go back to iOS. He's used both OS before and the pros and cons of each side is still the same...

Hmm... I guess that's all for now... Let me go clear some of my DW inbox... And I'll think about the LJ stuff after my last day of work. Maybe I'll go PM some comm mods too... I think it's better for the community as a whole if we all move to DW.... :X
coolohoh: Biohazard (Default)
Crazy days ahead?

Well definitely crazy days ahead in SG. We're stepping into the hot season again. The weather is getting crazy hot. It's almost 2am and still 29.2 °C . Worst still, insects are everywhere. I'm getting new insect bites every single day. And that's despite all the mosquito repellent I spray... Started burning some incense today but I'm still seeing insects flying around the room. WTF? Already got another fresh bite on my wrist. Worst still are the ones on your feet. Like the one on the bottom of my left foot that I 'acquired' two days ago. Geez. Thankfully none on my toes so far... Those are super duper itchy....!!!

Possibly crazy days on LJ too? Not sure if a mass deletion is coming but I've seen quite a few accounts suspended just looking through the list of members in arashi-on. Not a good sign...? I have an ominous feeling that something bad is coming...

Now all that I'm hoping to see on DW is for the new post editor to get finished and come out of beta. Or for these two points of improvements to the current post editor. 1) the ability to select tags from a list 2) show the rich text editor menu bar in the HTML editor. That way I can do my post in HTML and still use the button for adding in a link instead of switching over to the rich text editor or typing out the entire thing in html myself cos well, I'm lazy ok? And it's much faster to just press a button rather than type out all that a href stuff. A better interface when inserting photos and the ability to link to accounts like instagram would be much appreciated too, though not as important as the ability to select tags from a list, rather than typing from memory or posting first then editing and adding in the tags later.


Last day of my leave left. Next week I'm starting on my new job....

Spent the last two days doing nothing but watching Arashi shows. Today in particular was watching TSD all the way up till... End of Aug. Yeah... Still at the start of June for the rest of the shows... But progress!!!

Not done a single thing with my 3D pen though, and it feels like I won't tmr either... Oh wells... Bulk of my time last week was spent on DW... Moving communities over... Updating 1 masterpost... Ok, I did update my masterpost for The Chronicles as well as all the links back to the masterpost on each chapter. And then I got sick/bored of it and cried "enough!". And started watching Arashi shows instead.

Have I already mentioned that I watched 99.9? It was so fucking good. Great cast, solid storyline... Jun was cute... Oh I think I did talk about it previously already...

So... Still 2 months more to go till my target Aug... And there's still so many other things to do...

Suddenly I'm feeling the urgent need to get my comms up and running on DW again...

Oh yeah... I did pick a new layout for my DW personal blog, but I've not customised it yet....

New job next week... Excited... Hope it's good.

Wanted to write more... But now I'm too tired to make sense anymore... So that's all. Nights.
coolohoh: Biohazard (Default)
Cos the morning/noon rush is finally over.

Woke up rather late this morning... 10:30am, or almost 11? So I stumbled out of bed and went right to my computer... For some reason I didn't start playing games and stuff on my phone in bed... Maybe cos it was late enough already and I'd laid in bed for long enough.

And the first thing I saw? A link to some news about Are You Happy DVD in Japanese... There was something about Japonism Arena too and I was like, what? They released both at the same time? Crap I don't have enough $$$ left???

Turns out that Japonism came with the LE of AYH DVD. So I ordered the LE in blu-ray... and since I'm broke I'll have to wait for my pay to come before I can order the RE in DVD - since the bonus content is the same in DVD for both versions...

So yeah... Then I scrambled to put together my Nihongo Manabu post. My second post in two days thanks to Arashi news... Haven't done a review for that site in like three weeks >< 

Then after putting a basic post together... It was time to pimp the links on FB and stuff... After that I opted to have some lunch before continuing to add information to the post... Then I made the news post to [community profile] storm_freaks ... Together with the jweb updates... And finally I processed some membership applications for SF - both on LJ and DW. And now... I'm done. Kinda. Still have to add more pre-order links to the NM post. But yeah... What a crazy, hectic morning.

The DVD. It's crazy. The sort of bonus it comes with. The LE is basically like... Buy one concert, get one concert free. Only that it's definitely NOT free because the LE is way more expensive than the RE. And the RE? Comes with documentary of the AYH concert... From the time when they were still conceptualizing the concert right till the very end. I heard they filmed rehearsals and all too. GOSH. Rehearsals! Precious precious footage. Must have it... Yes... Need to wait for my pay to come cos I'm broke. Gosh.... I'm totally forced to buy both versions this time... It'll be the first time I'm buying both editions....

Sigh. Second and last week left of my vacation... 

That's all for now I guess... 
coolohoh: Biohazard (Default)
[community profile] storm_freaks  is now open for sign ups!

So that's two comms that are officially open on DW. 

Two more to go... *takes a deep breath*

Next up I'll be looking at the layout and then masterpost on nutty_arashi. And then being busy with the membership stuff for SF.

In other news. Spent last night and this morning binge watching 99.9 and $%!)&%)!&$)! I LOVE IT SO MUCH. It's not that I wasn't willing to watch it last time ok? It's just purely lack of time. I couldn't resist it anymore after watching all the osama no brunch episodes... Esp when they introduce the part about Miyama being arrested. I was like FUCK I NEED TO WATCH IT NOW. And so I did.

It was... Perfect.

Detective work.

Solid script/story.

Great cast.

With the right amount of humor...

Every one of the cast members brought their character to life... And literally gave it character. Whether it's the proud and quirky Miyama, or the equally proud rival Sada... Or the hilarious Akashi...

Love it. Finally there's a Jun drama that I absolutely love.

Even better than kagi heya? Possibly so. You have to give it up to Jun, that guy is a classy actor. And hurrah for him playing in a non-romantic drama for once? (Ok there was Lukcy 7, but it was only so so IMO.)

The kind of crazy/eccentric character that's Miyama... Arghs I just love it. And so adorable too. Despite his attitude and everything he's such an adorable, loveable character. Arghs. Love it.


Half of my staycation is over. And all I've really done is... Watch some arashi shows (ok, at least I finished a drama series. That's a big accomplishment IMO.) And move two communities over to DW. Have not played with my 3D pen yet... And then there's still my personal DW to set up --> the layouts and making a new sticky post...


Alright... That's all for Today's post I guess.... 


Apr. 7th, 2017 12:28 am
coolohoh: Biohazard (Default)
Finally. Cleared out my DW inbox. All that friend subscription and all... I've also granted access to a bunch of people whom I know from LINE. Then there's all the seeming familiar usernames but whom I can't quite place...

If I've friended you on LJ and you would like to access my friend locked entries here, then please send me a PM or something...

Also have been overwhelmed by all the DW notices in my email. Finally turned off email notifications for some stuff and basically made it the same settings as in LJ...

Last proper working day tmr...

I've been just feeling so tired at work these past few days. Is it really because of the exhaustion or am I just mentally exhausted? I don't know.

Spent yesterday and today teaching a PhD student how to do DNA extraction, PCR and gel electrophoresis... At least she treated me to dinner the day before and to lunch yesterday. Well we did the extraction till like 7+ pm... But yeah... She's the only person who actually treated me to something. Lol.

In the end... the qpcr that I did the day before... I didn't even have the time to analyse the results yet cos I've been busy teaching... And then tmr one of the AP's new RF is coming to ask me about my reagents and stuff? Or something? No idea how long it'll take... There's my qPCR analysis than I need to do... And some stuff that I want to copy out from my lab notebooks. Well... Serves me right for leaving it till the last min... Oh wells. Maybe I'll just snap a few pictures of my lab notebook instead. *shrugs*

Busy days on DW ahead. I need to get all the layouts done... Also set up some new communities on DW to facilitate the 'move to DW movement'. Basically I'm starting up a DW equivalent for arashi-on and arashirabu with the owner of a-ra-shi. Man, we have one hell of a line chat group. I never knew the person who most kindly helped me ported ALL my fics over to AO3 was also the owner of a-ra-shi. Amazing. I guess the LJ new TOS comes at a really nice timing... When I'm about to have some free time to get all these moving done. Yeah starting up new comms on DW excites me... But in all honesty I don't care if arashi-on decides to move over and everyone goes to arashi-on instead of the comm we made. If us making the comm gets other comms and fans to move over, then it's mission accomplished already.

Sure there are a lot of improvements that DW needs to make still... But at least I feel more happy that a) they just implemented a HTTPS version of the site b) they don't have opaque TOS that hides the bulk of it under obscure Russian laws. That I don't speak Russian and therefore don't understand the original Russian TOS that is the legally binding agreement (not their translated English version!) is also a problem. Considering LJ's past history of mass deleting accounts... It doesn't make me very happy. Also... I've been through times when LJ literally was down every other day. And even recently, it's been really weird and asking me to save my password every time I make a post or comment? Like whut? What password? You know the chrome 'do you want to save this password' thing pops up? Like ALL the time. Like WTH is going on? Been making me question what's wrong with LJ for a while...

Alright. I guess I'll end things here... 
coolohoh: Biohazard (Default)
Hello from DW.

Yes. I've migrated all my entries... And honestly... Looking at the laws and having read stories about the underhanded things that that 1government has done to people, citizens and foreigners alike... I feel like just moving away from LJ. For now I'm still crossposting... But in the future, who knows? I'd love it if we could create a mass migration to DW. Starting with the communities I guess... Doesn't mean we have to close down everything on LJ, things can co-exist for some time...

But yeah... Honestly, I've always had my doubts about LJ. A few years back it was constantly breaking down, under maintenance... So many things were breaking all time... I decided then to keep all my entries in my own diary elsewhere as a backup.

Yeah... There's a lot about DW that could be improved upon for sure... And I've hardly used DW enough to know the upsides and the downsides... But considering how widespread the laws mentioned in the LJ TOS can be... Well sure, it can be nothing. But if they take offense? If they decide that gay sex for eg is offensive and decide to remove my account because of my fics... Then in which case I can only be glad that I already have another blog at DW, with all my posts, tags, and even comments migrated over.

All that I'm really losing is... some stats maybe? Like my comments posted. Cos sure, I posted a ton of comments, but since they were posted as coolohoh@lj, DW doesn't recognise it as something *I* posted. 

Not that I'll delete my LJ account... What's there will remain there. I'm a nostalgic person like that (think that's bad grammar but whatever).

I guess... The main whining people have it 'but I have to join all the communities again'. Well, think about the even bigger problem stopping communities from moving to DW - We have to accept everyone again. Even if we just check if you're already in the comm on LJ etc... That's still a lot of work when a community has hundreds, thousands of members. What's writing a comment VS reading a few hundred comments and accepting people in?

 And you don't have to worry about having an empty DW journal. You can import all your posts from LJ over. Automatically. Even communities (but the problem with communities is more on re-accepting everyone). All you have to do is go to Organise > import content, and key in your LJ username and password. Select everything on the next page, and confirm the import. Then you're done. You can log out of DW, turn off your computer, do whatever. Sure the import can take a loooong time. But you don't even need to be connected to the internet for the import to happen. You don't need a fast internet connection or whatever... DW servers will go to LJ and import it for you, automatically. You don't have to do a thing.

For communities all you need to do is to make a new community on DW, then when you go to the import page, select work as <your community name> and then you'll be given the option to key in your LJ username and password, as well as the LJ community name. And then done. You can start the import on your own LJ, and multiple communities at once. Heck, I'm waiting for the entries and comments to finish importing on... Let's see... 3, 4, 5? Yeah 5 communities as I type. 

At the very least... Think of DW as a backup and get things imported first. Then you can slowly think about migrating your layout over or making a new layout on DW and stuff. I heard comments that the DW styles are ugly... There's a post somewhere about how you can get LJ flexible squares layout onto DW. TBH, the generic LJ layouts are all very ugly too... You have to tinker with the custom CSS and stuff to get a decent looking layout... So yeah... :X

Somehow... I'm really welcoming the move though. Heck, I even want everyone to move. Get some prominent LJ communities to move or at least say make a DW alternative and the masses will follow suit... But we need to have a framework, a network of Arashi communities on DW first before people will move... I think many comms are now adopting a wait and see attitude... And tbh SF/me was among them... But SF does have quite a large membership... If we can orchestrate a move, and encourage members to move - have easy guides stating how to do an import... I think more communities will follow suit.

But for now... I need to use and understand DW myself. What's the arashi fandom scene like here? How many arashi comms are here? Do we have any arashirabu or arashi_on equivalents? If not, make one? I'm switching to a new job and in the mood for doing all these random 'crap' again. I'm definitely interested in creating the next big arashi comm on DW... :P

Alright, that's all for now. Last proper working day at this job for me tmr. And today I've spent my entire day teaching a PhD student. And we aren't done yet sigh... Gotta head to the lab soon... 

Oh yeah... One bad thing about DW. No tag selection menu like in LJ. I'm definitely going to drop by the suggestion board or somewhere and suggest that. That's definitely needed. Yeah. DW isn't as polished as LJ yet, but I think they are actively making changes... So we can all put in our bit to help DW become better. 


Apr. 3rd, 2017 09:39 pm
coolohoh: Biohazard (Biohazard)
Is when you finally get the confirmation on what time to report on the first day of work.

Countdown. Last 4 days at work.

Now all I need to do is buy some blouse and pants... While trying to not empty my pathetic bank account.


An Arashi fan told me she's coming to sg next week... And since it's just nice during my leave days... I offered to bring her around. I just hope I don't spend too much... LOL. I'm really perfectly happy to bring people around. Just that I need to watch my spending lol... But I guess it's a nice start to my short break... :P

Ok... NewsZero in 20 mins! Looking forward to it!
coolohoh: Biohazard (Biohazard)
Mass deleting comments on my LJ inbox...

It went over 100 again...

As usual, I can't keep up with my LJ inbox/discussion posts comments...

Thanks to everyone for taking part in the discussions!

Btw, Nihongo Manabu promotion... I broke down the I'll be there lyrics line by line, phrase by phrase (actually did this last week), so do check it out!

In other news. It's MAY! I'm watching Arashi shows from MAY last year. Finished all the April stuff and am stepping into May! I'm just 11 months behind now lol.

Hmm, that's all for now I guess...
coolohoh: Biohazard (Biohazard)

Crossposting the following from [ profile] storm_freaks.

Just what... two more weeks or so till the year ends (and I can start using my Are You Happy? planner.)

The end of the year is a pretty great time to do a little reflection excersise.... And since I'm going on holiday from Sunday, and I've yet to pack anything... Thought I'd try to get my online posts all done today so yeah. Pardon my two posts in a row thing.

So... I'll pose a question in bold, then answer it for myself... Then you can answer the questions in bold in your comments as well. How does that sound? Questions will include both personal and Arashi related questions. I'm taking my questions and modifying them from this post, in case you're interested. (If you're a iOS/mac user, Day One is a superb journelling app, love it tons. Do give it a look!)

Are we ready?

Let's go!

Bokutachi no reflection )

coolohoh: Biohazard (Biohazard)
Made 4 xmas cards so far... 3 more to decorate, 2 more to write on.

Actually got tired and went to bed already... But ended up not quite being able to sleep and some random musing suddenly proliferated my brain that I had to check out... So I'm on the computer again.

Anyway... Xmas cards. 6 for online Arashi fan friends! Only 1 for a RL friend. That sounds about right in terms of the % of people I know/regularly interact with online VS offline.

Actually, the 1 RL friend to send a card only came about because she happened to be chatting with me online and I decided to be a little hardworking and make 1 more card... Because what's 1 card when you're already making 6 right? Maybe I should send a card to the friend who showed me around Penang too. Well I'm too lazy to make cards for J and octavia. Lol. *shrug* Will depend on my mood tmr maybe. I'm sending them random trinkets though! Only a week left before I'm going on a trip so... Sigh.

And I'm still coughing badly.


Anyway. The random musing. So... I knew from people wishing unsup happy bday that her bday is on Nino's bday.

And then via some more detective/deduction work... I think she has the exact same bday as Nino. Like not just the date... If you get what I mean. Now that's convenient. I can just google Nino whenever I need her bday. Lol. Well I kinda finally remembered Nino's bday thanks to her though. Cos previously I don't remember Neen's and Jun's. Still not sure about Jun's. 30th Aug is it? Hoho! I got it right. Guess it comes with being a fan for so long. *shrugs*

Ok... I'll try and go back to sleep... Or something.
coolohoh: Biohazard (Biohazard)
Initially typed this out on SF but it turned out too long and since it's totally off topic... It goes here instead.

Today? Was a terrible day. It started off well... Then things started going downhill when I got this colleague to teach me how to use a machine called the MP-AES to measure Fe concentration. I still have not read up on how this machine works... But basic principle is like this: different elements emit different light when burned. So this machine generates a plasma and then it has a detector to detect specific wavelengths of light so that you can know exactly how much of a particular element you have in your sample. (Correct me if you know better people!) So yes. I was learning from this colleague whom I've had a really bad experience with trying to teach her stuff last time (she used to be a final year project student here, so she's really new). And she's not experienced with using this machine. So she basically takes really long to get things started. And when the machine finally starts, the plasma wouldn't start. We restart. Plasma starts at last... But when we try to get the machine to do some auto conditioning, it wouldn't work! Trying this, trying that... I suggest to try another sample... Didn't work. I ask her if she knows anyone who's more experienced at using the equipment, she doesn't know anyone. We tried to ask the lab in charge, she took a screenshot of the error and mailed it to the engineer instead of helping us troubleshoot. Finally I suggested we restart again. And it worked. -.-'''

Sigh. Then I loaded my 109 samples to the auto sampler. Keyed in the sample names... When it's all finally done and we hit the run button, over 2 hours has passed since the start. Geez. All that trying to get things to work. I thought it would have only taken 30 mins at most but nope, took over 2 hours. And the software not allowing for adding samples on the fly while the machine starts running didn't help. Because otherwise I could have it start running already while I slowly continued keying in all my sample names. 109 of them!

I timed. It takes ~90 secs per sample. So it'll take almost 3 hours for all my samples. Went back to the office. Checked at the 1.5 hour mark, everything was fine.

Came back down around the time it *should* have been done and... It had stopped mid way. With over 30 samples to go. Cos the gas ran out. Zzzz. It was already past 7pm.

I tried looking for the spanner to take off the N2 gas tank regulator. Can't find the big spanner. Zzz. I was about to walk away (go home, and continue tomorrow) when some relatively new PhD student comes along. Just out of curiousity I just ask her about the gas regulator and she's like, oh yeah, I know that. Turns out she's used that machine quite a lot, and she would have been the expert we were looking for in the afternoon. *sigh*

And it turns out despite all my circling around the gas tank storage room, and looking behind nooks and crannys, I *still* managed to missed the spanner. I was simply looking at the wrong place zzz. *sigh*. So, spanner found. But the thing was too tight. Time to look around the lab for a strong guy to help. Thankfully, another PhD student was still around. The guy I'd just taught something to this morning. Gas tank changed. Hurrah. Plasma ignites. The program continues running. I head back up to finish that irritating programming challenge that I was stuck at. (I still swear there's some bug in their software for that question.) Went back down 30 minutes later, turns out that the plasma got cut off immediately after I left the lab. There were still over 30 samples to run zzzz. It was way past 8pm. I give up. I restart the plasma and sit in the lab till the end. Cleaning and clearing up whatever I could. Good thing I stayed too, because the plasma cut off AGAIN about 10 samples in. By the time I finish everything it was past 9pm. And I still had not had any dinner.

At least it's all done now. I didn't want to wait till tmr (well today, it's past midnight) because I have no idea how long it'll take to set things up again. And capping back the samples, and uncapping them, keying in the sample names... All that takes a lot of time... So yeah. At least it's done now... I don't have to deal with it in a while... *sigh*

And that, ladies and gentleman, was my bad day.
coolohoh: Biohazard (Biohazard)
Have I complained about how my leave was rejected?

I think I have.

Stupid prof. And stupid DJI. Like WTH? That was totally unnecessary. If things had been done MY way, I would have all the samples tested and done by last Wedn, and I could have gone on my leave. As it turns out, yesterday I was doing stuff that *could* have been done way earlier, as was the whole of last week. And today? I had absolutely *NOTHING* to do.

On the plus side, I spent my day revising all my completed challenges on FreeCodeCamp, and making notes. Which is what I intended to use my leave for anyway. (Still, you fucking wasted my whole week!)



Finally finished making notes for the 170++ odd challenges I've finished in about a week or so.

I can tell you that I spent way more time making notes than doing the challenges itself. Which made me question the efficiency of my choice of taking notes.

No wonder I never ever took/made notes in class. Like, ever.


But I guess it's good to take notes. A little revision to make sure that I didn't miss anything as I sped and crashed through the challenges. And writing out the code in old fashion pen and paper helped me remember them a little better. And it's important that I remember all these and internalise them ASAP. The very basics, ya know. Sure, making those websites on codepen helps too. And so does taking notes.

When was the last time I studied this hard? Idk. But definitely not for anything school related.


I think I'm never ever going to attend those. Esp those that cost a fortune. I don't even have a fortune to pay to begin with. I totally drained my bank account on plastic filaments and electronic gadgets and pens and what not. Nope. Definitely NOT going to go a crazy spending in a long time... :X

Anything structured and formal doesn't work for me.

Ok, not sure about the structured part but erm... Rules and regulations? They exist to be broken. I like going at my own pace and just speeding through everything. And googling everything if I need help. I'm not even at the stage where I need to join chats and forums for advice. Uncle Google is my best friend. I like things just the way it is.

Well definitely not the way things work in schools in sg. I'll probably just get bored. The pacing... Either they go too slow for me, or they go too fast for a complete newbie like me (as quick as I may be in picking up new things...)

Everyone learns at a different pace after all. The chances of structured lessons going exactly the speed I want them to be are close to nil.

Unless you self learn that is.

Which is what I'm happy to do.

Especially when there's a big carrot dangling in front of me. I have a project in mind. A website to build. I'll learn whatever it takes to build it. And that, is my best motivation.

And when that gets completed. The website gets built... I'll have to maintain the site... And then I can dream up of the next big thing to build and learn the relevant skills.

How cool is that?

That's just like what one would do in science in an ideal world, but of course, we are far from an ideal world. At least, in coding, it's probably easier to achieve that sort of ideal world situation that I imagined. Maybe. At least you don't need millions of funding to do a website. You just need a computer and an internet connection, and some cash to pay for a hosting plan. Which is way more accessible than a BSL2 lab and tons of equipment and consumables. And those, are stuff that I already have.


Let's see how fast things can go... The sooner I can monetize this coding business, the better.

Don't know how things will turn out, but it doesn't matter. I know I can do this. I don't have any doubts about it. Maybe it's because I've been tinkering with computer stuff and dabbling a little here and there in codes of some kind all along. Whether I can do it or not is not even a question. The question is how long I will take to achieve a decent level of proficiency. And how long it'll take for me to learn enough to start putting *something* on that new website. Oh, it's gonna look really horrid at the beginning. But that's ok. It'll be my experiment. And I'll just tinker with it till I'm satisfied. And I'll do it for as long as it takes.

Alright. It's time for dinner now! Then it's back to learning!

Crazy kid

Dec. 2nd, 2016 03:12 am
coolohoh: Biohazard (Biohazard)
So this just happened on LINE chat. (Rephrased)

Friend: You are the mods of so many LJ comms
Me: Yeah...
Friend: And you're also working
Me: Oh I'm learning web dev now, so next time I can make my own LJ themes
(Well, at least I'll be able to know exactly what I'm doing when I modify themes)
Friend: And when will you sleep and meet up with friends?
Friend: Vampire?
Me: I don't meet up with friends that much
(I don't have that many RL friends in the first place. And everyone is busy. Like... 2 doctors? A journalist whom we gave up contacting years ago? Ok, one friend just came back from UK after her PhD, but she's busy running around setting everything one might possibly need to do after migrating from another country. [technically she's coming back, but practically it's the same...] Plus, I'm anti-social, and these days, my anti-socialness has reached quite a high level...)
Friend: You are like q (I think q's pet phrase is 'sleep is for the weak'... Or was that someone else hmm...)
Me: I sleep 4-5 hours a day
Friend: You know that you are crazy?


Yup. I very well know that.

And I'm going fucking mental with this boring excuse of a job. Like this whole week I basically accomplished nothing formal work wise. Like nothing. The FIA didn't work properly. Engineer came down yesterday, and today it still wasn't working, the values for ammonia was weird. Then at midnight I got an email from DJI phantom (yes, that shall be the nickname for the new rf - who isn't that new anymore and therefore needs a new nickname) that even the NO2 and NO3 results were wrong. FUCK. And I already tossed the extra diluted samples. FML. Like seriously. Do you really, really need the NO3 results? If it was just NO2 and ammonia I can do without the FIA and we'd have gotten the results like LONG ago. *sigh*

DJI seems to think that FIA is really good but it kinda sucks. It's a crapton of work and I seriously don't think it's any faster than doing things the manual way. Only because of the stupid ammonia solution used in measuring NO3... That made my eyes really dry and basically made me (temporarily) blind. And makes your throat hurt too. If not for that... I wouldn't use the FIA at all...


Oh wells.

At least I'm listening to a crapton of podcasts at work so I'm not completely wasting my time.

Like I have 49 active podcasts that I subscribe to now. Of varying frequency and length.... Including a lot of weekly and even daily podcasts. And I can listen to all those and even catch up on some back episodes of This week in Microbiology and This week in Parasitism. The episodes starts to build up when I don't do lab or don't listen for a while... But on lab days... Well. I listen to my podcasts at max speed... Overcast has a wonderful variable speed function though, so in reality it's around 2.2 - 2.5x speed. So an hour podcasts finishes in less than 30 mins and so on. In just an afternoon of lab, for say like 4 hours? I can go through over 9 hours worth of podcasts. That's a lot of podcasts that I listen to. And I often listen when commuting too. That's another 2-3 hours of listening a day. Yup... Definitely need a lot of podcasts to keep my mind occupied. These days I can't listen to podcasts at regular speed anymore. Like... Why do they talk so slowly geez! It absolutely puts me to sleep. I don't understand 100% of the hardcore science podcasts, but hearing some terms get repeated over and over, I still learn something. Maybe 30-70% of each podcast, depending on how much attention I'm paying to it, and of course, the subject matter. The rest? The tech stuff and stories? Not a problem man. I understand them fully.

I realise that I'm a person who's easily bored. And well, it's not really a new realization, nor a recent occurrence. I threw myself into gaming starting from secondary school while still doing reasonably well at school, even though our school curriculum and homework was seriously demanding. Like, we'd be doing presentations every other lesson, and then have a few projects and tests all in the same week. And projects like 'build a model of dna packing', and 'build a toy based on the principles or either the motor or the generator'. And you do those stuff from scratch, and do up a report, and maybe a presentation. Like wtf kind of toy are we supposed to build geez? A toy! Using self-made motors or generators! It was hard... But fun times. Of course, I was the chairman of my weiqi club too. And an avid gamer. Utopia, runescape... Neopets probably stuck around for a bit longer before I stopped that. Not before I dabbled in some html on my pet pages though. I think I only started maplestory pretty late. I was a hardcore gamer too. Well, still am? Kinda. It's vainglory for me these days.

And when I say I was playing maple... I was doing plenty of research about all the classes, builds, items... Writing my own guides, being the 'leader' in forums. Even helping to update the database. I was doing all that crap. All while preparing for my A levels. Heck. I played maple throughout uni. Like in my FYP aka final year project aka undergrad thesis days, it was like 'maple? or do fyp?'. Cos I did a bioinformatics project, and I was already using a mac at that time and doing either required a complete reboot of the system into either mac or windows. And I played for days at a time. (Still got an A for that.)

Yup. So I've always been keeping myself occupied one way or another. After maple, it was Arashi and LJ that stole my attention. Watching Arashi shows and picking up Japanese. Writing fanfics. Doing super detailed bangumi reviews. Later on doing subs, and then managing a ton of lj comms.

Always something to keep me occupied.

And now it's learning web-dev I guess. All because I wanted to start another new website. Well, the website and me wanting to learn programming has been a thing for years already... So it's high time. And since I was at a loss on which programming language to start with, and since I chanced upon this amazing website called 'Freecodecamp', I ended up deciding to do web dev instead. The main tipping point was my own website I guess. I initially wanted to use WP like I did with Nihongo Manabu. But there are some specific ways I'd like my website to look, that I've yet to find in a WP theme. So why not build my own? I initially wanted to get *something*, some form of a website up and running by end of Dec, but with a holiday in China taking up the bulk of my two weeks leave, I don't think I'll be able to make it. Let's see if I can get something up by Jan instead. Oh wells.

Making the content of the site would be as hard a task as designing the site I guess... Esp the parts that involve drawing web comics. Even if it's stick figures. Because boy do I suck at drawing.

We'll see how this new venture goes. If it goes well, I might say goodbye to being a slave to stupid and ungrateful rfs in the lab forever. Be my own boss. Than I don't have to deal with the crappy office and lab politics. (In exchange, I'll probably have to deal with tons of hate comments/mail on the web?)

Like I'm just so sick of this shit. All the stupid rules and policies. And the lack of passion. And I don't think that it's easy to change even with a new workplace... As long as I'm in this country. Why? Because the whole culture here, the government policies, create such an environment.

So, so sick.

I want out.

And perhaps more so than a PhD, programming is my way out. I keep saying I don't know what area to specialise in if I were to do a PhD. I still don't. I like learning about everything and anything. And I have liked computers, been more proficient at it than my peers, since a long time ago. It's about a week into the code camp though so it's still too early to tell how I'd really like it. But so far, it's been fun. It's quite like working in the lab in many ways. You meet obstacles. You can't get something to work. You check back on your code, or recall your steps, and think about what might have gone wrong. You check the error messages. You check the unexpected results. You deduce what went wrong (google and ask around if you must), and then try again. And again. And each time I hit the run button on my code it's like doing a new round of experiments. Only that in programming you typically get your results way, way faster than in science. It's all just an experiment and I like experiments. If you don't know how things work, you try it. Just like if you don't know what a button does in that new equipment software, you hover over it and see what help text appears. And then you click on it. Because what's the worst thing that can happen? You break something in the software and maybe you have to restart the program. That's pretty much it. Why can't people learn to use the software themselves? Why can't they do anything? Arghs. Once again it leads back to how I'm smarter than everyone around me. Not because I'm a genius, but because they are just. Arghs. Low in standard.

All that politics and lousy people management. So many people have come and go. Really dumb management really. Like. I can do so much more sophisticated things than what you're making me do now. You're not even using me at like 50% of my full potential. Pfft. Pathetic. Maybe not even 30%. Oh wells. But I'm not appreciated for my efforts anyway, so I'm not even willing to give you my 100%. Unlike when I was working with unsup. I was like putting in 200% effort. Lol. Now? You're just not worth it. I'm happy to spend my brain power learning something new instead.

So far so good. I'm not completely new to all programming, since I've dabbled in html since a long time ago. Primary school in fact. Making neopets pet pages. And then with my numerous blogs. And even just typing my LJ entries in html mode. Or modifying themes so that they look the way I want. Making IRC chatbots (ok, just modifying them). Playing with IFTTT. Then my short-lived attempted at learning R (well, I did go through about 6 chapters in the book...?) and then putting a basic python code together. And I've always had a touch and go relationship with programming and stuff, so it's not completely new. And I can learn fast when I already have a little inking on the subject matter. And I've had a lot, a lot of informal experiences with coding.

Alrights. That's all for now. Back to writing down notes for all the past challenges I completed over the 5 days of freecodecamping. Yup, I even managed to build two simple webpages at work on wedn too, when the engineer was trying to fix/troubleshoot with the FIA, and DJI didn't give me like ANYTHING to do. I can't be bothered to ask her for jobs anymore too, after all the times she neglected me. She came to find me too, and only asked me to do something like late in the afternoon. Like, didn't it ever occur to you that you should have asked me to do that in the morning? Then you wouldn't have had to do it today. Geez. Oh wells. It was all good. I had fun trying to make my webpages and I revised quite a bit of coding, and learnt a few new tricks too.

Let's see where this crazy kid ends up.
coolohoh: Biohazard (Biohazard)
Yup. Loads of posts. So far I've... made a post on Fishing MJ... And now I'm making my second post of the day here.

Next up will be an update on Storm Freaks, and a post on Nihongo Manabu.

It's a happy day.


I don't know...


I had a farewell lunch with a colleague. She's one of the few they hired to take care of all the equipments.

I didn't even know she was leaving till Wedn when a "Sorry you're leaving" card landed on my desk.

This person... She's the one who took over my seat by the office door and I got kicked to my current seat. And sorry indeed, it's really sad to know that's she's leaving. Nowhere as sad as unsup, but it made me once again think about whether it's worth staying. (But I'm really, really lazy to find a new job...)

She's a really cheerful person, and one of the few whom I actually talked to, and we talked quite a fair bit too. Had occasional lunches together. Talked about Pokemon Go... Like, she once whatsapped me at 8 in the morning about the pokemon go halloween event. Lol. It's really fun being with her.

And most importantly of all.

She knows her stuff.

She's in charge of loads of equipment, and she knows how to work with the equipment. Not saying that she knows all the equipment, but she has this familiarity with working with equipment. She's at ease with them. I guess that's what you can say about me with the equipment too. Or with technology and computers in general. Like I was watching her open up the particle size analyzer one day and the way she handled the instrument and screwdrivers and stuff. Well, it's like what I would have done. And that, I tell you, is practically impossible to find in my workplace. Like people don't really know what they are doing. They aren't comfortable with the equipment, they don't have that sort of confidence. And they've never worked with things like screwdrivers.

I, on the other hand, grew up helping my dad assemble IKEA furniture, and would dismantle everything possible (and put them back) in my pencil case during class. When people are like "I'm so proud of myself! I assembled the table from IKEA myself!" I'm like... Erm... That's what I've been doing since primary school? Ok not all by myself since I wasn't strong enough, and some big items you really could use a little help. But it's part and parcel of my life growing up. And as I'm typing on my iMac now, my table that my mac is sitting on is from IKEA. The chair I'm sitting on is from IKEA (only like a month old too!), and so is the floor to almost ceiling shelf right beside my table. And I had a part in assembling them all. (My dad was kind and helped with the chair, he doesn't have to anymore, I'm strong enough now.)


Like when I was doing Raman microscopy... They have a motor to rotate the focus knob, and apparently the clip/grip thing keeps coming lose. It needs a tiny allen key to tighten... So I asked the person in charge, the other girl in charge of all the equipment, for help. (Because I don't have a hex key, especially one of the size!) She came back with a set of keys, and tried one of them. And she was basically just turning, and turning, and trying to turn, but not quite getting it. So I volunteered to try. One turn. Opps. Wrong size. The hex key was too small, and the key got in, but was just a tad too small and was turning in the thread. The small sort of feeling you get when I use a cross screwdriver that was too small. Or I didn't press down hard enough and the screwdriver just slipped from the tracks. "You'll spoil the threads if you do that! And then you won't be able to screw or unscrew that anymore!" My dad would scold.

She would have been turning that thing forever if I didn't tell her that... (Exaggeration of course, but you get the idea)

Later on she found the right sized hex key and got her buddy - the person she's leaving - to help.


And you know what? That person who's leaving, she's barely been here for a year.

Not just her, so many people are leaving, or have left. New people, old colleagues. So many of them are leaving.

Why am I still here?

To collect my salary I guess.

This couple of weeks I've been busy though. But the good thing is that at least I'll get a message in the morning at around 10am telling me the work that needs doing. At least there's been some marginal improvements in communication.

Some good news: I've started looking at this course about word press that I signed up for long ago. We'll see if he teaches anything I don't already know. I'm going to look at some hosting plans though. See if they'll have black friday sales next friday. I'll go for unlimited hosting with unlimited domains this time. Gotta decide on my domain name for the next project...

So, so many things I wanna do. That has nothing to do with work at all.

Side note: Secret santa on SF! I got my secret santa gifts already! Yay me! I *might* make something myself, with my 3D pen, if I have the time... But well, I've hit the dollar value already so at least I'm good to go.

Oh! So many Are You Happy logos and stuff... I want to make something with my 3D pen, or do some eraser carvings...

But I gotta finish up the posts though! Cause my friend who did her undergrad and PhD in UK is finally done, and back in SG for good. And I'm meeting up with her tomorrow. Looking forward to the meeting loads. She's probably my closest friend. In terms of being able to relate to each other I guess. Well after that talk with the US friend I'm hard pressed to decide between the two but...

With this friend, she's a chemist. So yeah, she can understand my science geekiness, though she's not head over heels in science like I am. But so much we have in common... I got her two rilakkuma welcome back gifts - a mug and a folder. I hope she still likes rilakkuma. Lol.

Alrights. That's all for now... I guess?
coolohoh: Biohazard (Biohazard)
It's been months. Months since I updated here.

I'm really sleepy but man... I really want to do a quick update.

Things are... Idk if it can be considered getting better...

A cut. Because those who knows me knows that my 'little' updates are never little. )
coolohoh: Biohazard (Biohazard)

I'm taking a break from studying. From my very short study period. I'm like, still on the first page of my grammar book lol. Well, I did do like a 10 question warm up test before that but...

You get the idea.

I went to kino yesterday and found this N1 grammar book, entirely in Japanese. I don't know which is better, having to deal with 4 languages/writing systems, or having to figure out the meaning of phrases and sentences because it's entirely in Japanese and I don't quite get the full meaning of the sentence. And since I'm studying the grammar, it won't do to just get a gist of the meaning. I need to know and understand the exact usage!

So yeah. I'm just not giving a sh!t and reading my book in broad daylight. And hey, the rf I used to work with, who's sitting on the other side of the fence, I mean, divider, stood up and talked to me a while back. Like twice. And didn't say a thing about this weird yellow paged book in some unknown language. Heck. Nobody cares. I've read xkcd comics while sitting at my old spot, which is basically in the view of everybody, and only once did my ex-sup (no, not unsup, but the one before that), mention about it. Asked why I was studying rockets. Hahaha. But nah he doesn't care. Nope. Nobody cares. I've sat here and played vainglory and nobody noticed/cares. I just did earlier too, played a quick round of battle royal (and won, hurrah!) before I grudgingly took out my book to try and do something useful.

The clock is ticking after all...

But back to the title.

It's funny how everyone expects me to know everything. From gene expression to bacteria cultures to just everything.


They clearly don't know what my degree was.


Well. I can always fudge things. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. It's too hard. Beyond my expertise. Whatever. What can you do to me?

It's your fault for expecting me to know everything anyway... And really, I don't care either way. I'll get nothing out of it after all. I'm sure of it. Another paper? Don't be kidding me. You can't get a paper with the kind of expertise we have currently. Where nobody knows what they are doing.

But at the end of the day....

All that stays is the sad truth that there is way too much things that I don't know.

It's not about the job. It's about myself, for myself. Too many things I still need to learn, and it's like... Where do you even start learning? It's not about the hardcore sort of knowledge where you look up papers for. It's the more... 'softcore' stuff. And the reason why I loved working with unsup so much. Like learning how to locate the focus plane for a stupid, dilute wet mount. Gah. It's still on my to-do list. Someday when I'm in the mood... I'll just sit in front of the microscope and do just that.

Like yesterday morning and I got a message from the new boss asking me if I knew about some primer specificity. Well... The only solution I have to that was look up the literature where we got the primer sequence from... Because I don't think we did any primer design of that sort... But well, unsup had a much better solution. Search it up on ncbi database. Why of course! That's where all the sequences are. Everything newly discovered goes in there. And new sequences appear everyday. Maybe I should spend more time on ncbi huh. Of cos they'd have such a service. It's just that I never quite knew. Just what have I learnt about bioinformatics in school? Nothing, really. The stuff we learnt in undergrad? Really... we didn't learn anything at all. Well, unsup being the really nice person that she is says it's normal that I don't know because I wasn't trained in bioinformatics. Well... I guess that's true. Still... I came from a school where not knowing isn't really an option so... (Yeah, I'm talking about my sec sch.) And yeah... I should stop troubling unsup with such stuff because it's not her job anymore... But then sometimes I really just want someone to complain to. And when you complain about things in less vague terms unlike how I try to be really vague now... And to someone like unsup... It quickly becomes an advice and counselling session... And it's also true that both are also what I'm searching for when I want to rant.

I think I'm breaking apart again. Mentally. Falling into pieces. I think the 'I don't give a shit' is one of the syndromes of some sort of mental illness. Well it's clearly my way of shutting down and trying to make some free time for myself. Among other things. Like a close evaluation of the economic benefit of doing work vs doing 'work'. Just plain old logic. Which often saves the day for me. Like all the times I look down from the corridor and think that it'll be nice to just jump the barrier and fall down down down. (Yeah, having random thoughts like that isn't a good thing huh? And admittedly, it's becoming a lot more frequent recently and hence the reason I know I'm breaking into tiny bits.) But no, I don't want to jump to commit suicide. I just get the thought that 'oh, won't it be nice if we did that?'. Thankfully, the logical side of me tells me that I can imagine it all I want but no, we aren't jumping. Plus, I don't think I actually, really like the sensation of falling, so I don't know why I get that urge. And no, I don't actually want to die. Though thinking about suicide won't be anything new for me... I think I just want to hide in a hole and escape from it all. I've never said this much before huh, have I? Behind it all, I'm all broken up inside. Broken in strange ways by an education system that doesn't fit. I do well when I'm challenged, and intellectually stimulated. But otherwise, I get so, oh so very bored. And I'm the type of person who likes... Well. It's hard to put it. I don't really like being a leader in real life all that much, because I hate public speaking. And I'm the shy kid who doesn't really speak much. But nope, I can't stand working with or heaven forbids, under dumb people. Which was the reason why I left my previous job. And will once again, be the reason why I leave my current job. I would not have lasted 6 months if I was in unsup's position... Though admittedly, quitting a job in just 6 months would raise a lot more eyebrows for someone in her position as compared to myself, a nameless person with nary an achievement under her belt.

I guess I've been on this job long enough for it to look ok on my CV though. Quitting two jobs with each one less than 6 months each isn't good, but I've been here over 2 years now. Time flies so fast. I'm a senior in this place already lol. With a whole bunch of equipment supposedly under my care too lol. My bench... Well, it's become like unsup's bench in the past. The PhD students are 'looting' stuff from my bench to use. (But they return it, so that's fine.) When I go to my bench and see the guy searching around my bench for something, and I ask him what he needs... Hahaha. It's like me, or them, searching around the other bench (i.e. unsup's bench) last time. Which incidentally, still has the card with unsup's name on it cos the new rf felt embarrassed to take it down last time.

Thank goodness I've seen how unsup did her cultures for that stupid project previously... Because otherwise I'd have no idea how to grow those bacteria (like, even simple things like 'what should i grow the cultures in? bottles? flasks?'). And since nobody else does microbio work, we'd all have no idea. Yay. Till I started on this... conical flasks was more a chemistry thing (chem is my first love after all) that had limited use in biology. *shrugs* We never had conical flasks in my previous cell culture labs. The different worlds...

(Ok, I think I've seen some conical flasks being used for larger fly cultures... but flies...!)

(I don't really like flies...)

(Can't say I outright hate them but as much as possible I don't think I'd like to work on flies...)

This is all... So very amusing. Not as amusing as the boss in my previous job who refused to hire any rf for the project and relied entirely on fyp students. But I think we might be inching towards that level of absurdity... Little by little.

So me and the new rf were given a month to finish some experiments. *shrugs*

Let's see when we can actually start. Nothing is happening right now, though you can really blame us... Waiting on the reply from the vendor to check our equipment... Which is great because it means I can spend my time reading stuff online... And maybe even study some Japanese!

Only that I have to scale up on my bacteria cultures... New boss wants 10x more cultures. And to prevent contamination from taking out all the cultures, she wants it in 10x as many bottles. Which means come next week, I'll have 20 freaking bottles to take care of. Geez. 20! Oh wells. I wonder if I can get away with just sampling them on alternate days. Or maybe just sample half of them each time. Yeah... I'm probably do something like that. Depending on my mood...

Ok. Back to studying. Let's see if I can finish another few pages before heading home. It's Thursday already, hurrah!!!
coolohoh: Biohazard (Biohazard)

I had a dream this morning... That unsup replied me additional stuff on Whatsapp, which didn't happen. And that it was 6:40 am, which was correct, because it was 6:39 am when I checked my phone.


But I did asked unsup about the legend of shabu shabu.... And she says she and that particular guy who loves the word 'shabu shabu' liked it. Hahaha. Only that why were there so many characters? Well. Cos I was greedy and put all of arashi in. And ALL five of them were in the scene from start to finish. And I'd admit that if it wasn't a fanfic, I wouldn't have so many characters. Maybe just 3 would be plenty. Thank goodness I'm not into like... HSJ or something. Lol. Writing about all of them at once would be pretty much impossible. 5 is already stretching my limit.

Anyway. I survived the meeting yesterday morning. Well towards the end of my presentation I didn't know what to say. Because I was tired. And because I merely copied the slides from our progress report last time and so I didn't go through it again on monday. And therefore had completely, like completely forgotten the results and therefore what to say. Even though I did that thing entirely on my own... and even though I did type a long email to unsup summarizing those results. But hey, that was over a month ago and I'd completely forgotten about it already. Lololol.

But boy. It's really amazing how unsup lasted as long as she did here. Well, I guess she had other motivators... That or she is just really really hardworking. Like really. I wouldn't last half a year with her boss. That, or I wouldn't be bothered about work at all. Not putting in any effort. But then again, that's the difference between my position and unsup's. And that would be the case if I were to move on to the next step on the ladder and get my PhD. Cos then. You'll have a rep to maintain. You have to keep publishing papers. And good ones at that. It's like me and my blogs. Only different. Like if I stop posting, my LJ ranking goes down, down down. If I translate Arashi stuff and advertise, you see my LJ ranks shoot up to the moon in an instant. And then it slowly drops back down to obscurity... Only that in science, things aren't so simple.

Do I really want that responsibility? That's what I keep asking myself. But really, what other way out do I have?

I have to get out. That's the certainty and the problem. There is basically no future for me here. Here in Singapore. Sure, my first mentor is still holding the equivalent of my position, in a better paying institute... I don't know how the pay increment is like there, and how much he earns now... But let's face it. I'm a f$$king materialistic girl and I spend a lot on my gadgets. Oh and did I mention that my dad would be retiring soon? Sure he has some retirement savings... But no doubt I'll be expected to contribute more to the household. And at my current salary? Nope. Not gonna let me play around with all the fancy gadgets. Heck yes. I'm interested in tech. Can't say that this interest will lead me to any sort of job on it... It's not really a good idea to turn every hobby into a job... But yeah. I do enjoy reading about tech and all.

Oh. I was talking about the meeting huh?

The center director.

He's like a charging bull. Scary and forceful, but not very smart. All you need to do is sidestep and watch him charge into a wall. And hurt himself. Badly.

Sorry buddy.

I don't work for stupid people.

More like. I can't.

I can't work for people whom I can't respect.

And this guy has never once enabled me to hold him in some sort of regard. (I won't even go as far as to say 'high regard'.)

From the onset, severely lacking in presence and charisma. And when you know him better, he does nothing but show his ignorance.

I'll tell you a story.

Before I joined his place, I worked here as a final year project student. Sort of like an intern if you will. I wasn't introduced to anyone. We were just holed up in the office doing bioinformatics work.

And then one fine day, this scrawny weird guy pops into the room and looks at us and say hi. And me and my friend look at each other and we were like 'who the heck is he?' and then we ignored him and continued working on the lappy.

He continued, 'oh you may not know me, i'm '

We had no clue about the organisation structure at all, so obviously we've not heard of the name. He didn't mention any title either so we were like, ok? So who's ? He doesn't look like anyone. So we completely ignored him. Didn't say a word. Like just turned out heads back once and continued working. Then he walked off.

Only years later did I reflect upon it and realise... Oh, that must have been *him*. The center director. Lol. Zero presence. He doesn't even look sure of himself half the time so yeah.

Basically. My motivation to work just dropped from like... 50% to 0%. I didn't feed my babies on monday. I didn't feed them yesterday. And I don't feel like feeding them ever again but I guess I'll be a good girl and feed them today because hey, I'm still getting paid.

Heck. I'll just do the bare minimum to get by and spend the rest of my time resting and getting my act together. For the next arc of the story called life.

That. And study for JLPT. It's freaking hell in less than a month and I need to study hard for it. I guess this means my schedule has suddenly opened up and I can study at work... But... bringing my whole guidebook there to study? Hmm... I don't know... Maybe I'll read from the website first... Or just heck and bring along my book. Only that my book is in traditional chinese you see. So it's easy to see what I'm not reading work stuff. But then again, who really cared? *shrugs* The other rf in the meeting yesterday couldn't even be bothered to do a powerpoint. Like, he basically just doesn't give a shit about anything but the director loves him for some unknown reason. So why should I care? Lol. What a total, utter waste of time. Things have never been sealed as much as it had been yesterday. Good bye hard working days. They were over when unsup left and I have no idea when it'll be back again. The hard thing about being the crazy person that I am... Well for every crazy person it's different, but this is the way it is for me... Is that... I can't really trigger that sort of crazy scientific geekiness, nerdiness, and passion alone. Well it's always present, always there... But for it to be activated at a high level... And with sustained effort? Now that's something that I could only do in the sustained presence of another science geek. As with the case in sec sch with my chem teacher. And was the case when unsup started showing me the nerdy side of her. It's like. The spark in the woods that triggered a statewide forest fire. Suddenly, my own geekiness levels increased exponentially.

Interesting eh? The things I've been learning about myself.

That kind of off the chart geekiness... Gah. I've not felt it in a long time. And it's dying out again now. Falling back to normal. Well, I believe it's higher than before still, but this is my new normal. The insanely elevated levels just can't be maintained. Not without an external fuel source... It's like... I just can't sustain it. Maybe it burns too bright or I'm just no good at locating my own fuel source, I don't know which, but I've known this to be a problem even in sec school. I wrote poems about that. Yes, honest. So my waxing lyrical about unsup isn't a new thing. I did that with my first mentor too. (I count unsup as my second mentor.) Have I told you that I sang love songs to chemistry? Chem is and will always be my first love I guess.

Now I just have to find my bio love.

And decide what I want to do with the rest of my life.

Science writing is really fun it seems. And I'd probably enjoy it. Probably. But then it involved speaking to people and all... And the severely anti social side of me says that I'd absolutely hate that.

But science writing - and solely that - for a living? I don't know. I don't see myself doing it. I see myself writing about stuff, but not about science. And the thing is, my writing skills are far from good enough for me to really make a living out of it. Sure I can go the amazon books route etc but those aren't really 'writing' IMO.

The thing with science writing is that you have to ensure accuracy. And that means a lot of research. And I can tell you that even when writing for NM or for my fics, I already do a lot of research. Spend a lot of the writing time on, not on writing, but reading. Reading up. Searching google. And that's in places where facts don't matter as much. Or in fics, where facts really don't matter because its fiction and you can make everything up.

But alas.

I'm the type who likes to combine fact and fiction. And yes, now it seems like I'm getting good at combining my reality, into fiction. Instead of just Arashi's reality (aka their TV shows).

Let's see what I can get done in the office today. And by 'get done', I mean 'work' and not work.

2 out of the 4 dream series fics done. Let's see if I can finish the other two asap. Like. Before Nino's bday. Hahaha!

Side note: I was clicking on the tags and somehow starting looking for an unsup tag. LOL. I did think of an unsup tag last time. But no I'm too lazy to search and tag all the previous unsup entries so no. (Yes, I'm OCD like that...)

July 2017

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